Overpowered...By The Enemy

Ever since I wrote my last blog, I thought I would be compelling myself to gradually move towards my study goals.  I thought that I would regularly struggle with the study material and would overpower my physical and mental blocks.  However, if things move on, exactly according to our plan, then all of us would be Gods.  Isn’t it?  

Another twenty days gone by and there’s not even a single sign of progress.  I am still there, where I used to be.  No-where…he he he 

If I analyze these twenty days that passed by, then I conclude that I had number of bad and good experiences.  

My co-worker who shares the same hierarchy accused me of possessing vested interest towards one of my team-members, even though I never ever thought about it.  I know his intentions are just to taint me and bring my strong candidature down.  I don’t know what good can people achieve by indulging themselves into these cheap politics rather than making themselves stronger through their work.  Certainly people like these should be avoided as they definitely create un-necessary pressure in our mind.  The entire episode actually ate three of my days and I just couldn’t concentrate on studies.     

When I gradually forgot the above event, my work demanded more of my time as the monthly research that we do in our office takes 10 days where in, I have to devote myself for quality checking the entire work that my team does.  During these 10 days, I know I hardly get time to check my personal emails and scraps on orkut.  Managing studies in these ten days is just impossible.  

If that’s not enough, I heard from one of my close alliance that my seniors are hell bent on shifting the entire process to DITP Delhi and are still ok with one or two consequent attrition.  It was another tension that rented my mind for two full days as I was the main protagonist who was against this shift.  He he he… 

Since my 15 working day leave application already got approved by my manager, my subconscious mind started taking study goals lightly.  As per my calculations, a total of 22 days exam preparation (including weekends) that I would undergo next month actually made me very comfortable.  Gradually, my regular study time got replaced with extra sleep and more time with office friends.  (Isn’t it called late back attitude) 

Oh yes! The joke of the century is that now, I have a group of “friends”.  He he he.  

Those who know me understand very well that I hardly make friends.  However, after say eight long years, I now have a group of friends called DAMM.  It refers to Disguised Assistant Managers Meet.  Include me, Puneet, Brijesh & Manoj and you would see DAMM.  We all are Assistant Managers catering to different teams.  However, we are closely bonded with each other and spend atleast an hour’s time regularly dining and sipping T shots (tea served in small cups as if we have tequila shots).  I don’t think there would hardly be any girl working in our office who has not been discussed in DAMM…he he he…and most of the times we do crib about our seniors and the existing inefficient management practices too…that’s normal…he he he.  I feel comfortable with each of them.  Again, anything which makes me comfortable also robs my concentration.  And yes, the hard fact of life is that most of the time, I feel like being with DAMM rather than going through my e-books during spare time in office.  That’s something which happened exactly whenever I used to prepare for some kind of exams in the past.  So nothing new about it…he he he  

Since past one and a half week, I am busy along with my manager doing the root cause analysis and preparing several mitigation reports as our line of business unexpectedly fetched some errors.  Analyzing past one years data thereby digging each and every account that our team members researched, hardly gave me time to breath.  And then making numerous presentations for several reviews some how forced me to forget about studies.  To neutralize my mind with the ongoing tensions, last weekend I watched three back to back movies at PVR.  “Straight”, “Baarah Aana” and “Firaaq”, all were good movies.  But then they were movies…he he he…what to say when my real life actually looks like an ongoing Gurudatt type of movie.  He he he 

Last Sunday, I also met with Vibhor and Vikram…the two guys from Royal Bank of Scotland.  Vikram is my friend cum neighbor since past three years.  Vibhor, his co-worker wanted to meet me since past few months.  Since Vibhor was leaving Delhi to pursue his MBA from ISB Hyderabad, I did not feel like skipping it.  Even I was curious to meet this guy.  Our meeting resulted in a fruitful networking with few exchange of ideas.  Definitely meeting such people motivates me and sets me back on track.  So this was again a wow experience for me which forced me to finally understand the Capital Asset Pricing Model and the Fama French Three Factor Model…he he he…as these are risk models and both Vikram and Vibhor along with me were slightly inclined towards risk management during our discussion.  He he he… 

All said and done, too many things at one point of time actually take my mind and consciousness.  Reasoning…isn’t it?  He he he…that's what it is...for getting overpowered by my biggest enemy...Me Myself...he he he

It will be a tough day for me today, as I have to properly hand over all my responsibilities prior to taking leaves.  My work will certainly take my entire day…but from tomorrow onwards, I will be free for another twelve days.     

It’s really hard to believe that after three long years, I would be taking leaves beginning tomorrow.  I intend to use them for a cause… 

Let’s see how hard I struggle during my next twelve days so that I burn a good amount of midnight oil to create some flames of knowledge.  ALL THE BEST TO ME...