Confessions Of An Innocent Killer...

With all the fears in my mind, I loaded the Ecstasy MX5021 with the first and the only bullet I managed to grab from few local goons who tried to kill me.

My hands were literally shaking when I terrifyingly raised it on him. With a dim light near to me, it was dark all around and I could not see his face. This guy was searching me with a dagger like thing in his right hand. Obviously he wasn’t motivated with benevolent intentions. The only thing I could make out about him was that he was behind my life. And if I have to save myself, there was no other way left for me but to kill him. Confusion along with terror, were the only two things I had in my mind. For the first time in life, gathering courage actually took a lot of it.

The moment he turned towards me, he raised his dagger and shouted at me “Oye”… That was the moment; I felt the jerk of the revolver I was carrying in my hand. The sound created by the shot left me completely shocked. For few seconds there was just a point blank silence with only one exception - echo of the shot. In fact there were two. The dagger which slipped from his hand created another sound when it hit the floor. And I regained my consciousness. The Ecstasy MX5021 slipped off my hands too, after seeing the horrific scene. This guy was flat in front of me. His upper body was exposed to a mild ray of dim light and I could visibly see his red shirt which got pierced due to the bullet I shot on him.

Before getting stiff, he whispered, “Aaah! You can’t be Rishi, right?”

“What if I am? Won’t you have killed me?” I replied.

I realized, I inadvertently committed a crime to save my life. Being there for some more time was a bad idea, so I immediately eloped from the backdoor of that place without even checking who he was.

It was 6:00 in the morning yesterday when I reached home after this incident. If I am not exercising, it’s a fairly normal time for me to go asleep, as I do evening shifts in my office. I set the alarm to 4 PM and tried to sleep. What do you think? Having committed a crime, will it be easier to sleep? Bloody hell…I shot a guy dead…how could I do it? Visions of his red shirt and a wound on it haunted me and I couldn’t sleep. While on bed, I was continuously thinking if I should report the incident to the police. Simultaneously, I was trying to estimate the consequences too.

With this background in mind, I was trying to do the root cause analysis of this unfortunate incident. So I purposefully went into the flashback…two days ago, while returning from my martial arts classes, my car met with a small mishap. I was waiting on a red traffic signal when another car hit my car from back.

I was furious over that guy, who turned out to be a local goon called Partha Roychaudhary. While our argument turned out to be a serious fight, he tried to hit me on my face and somehow missed on it. Realizing the gravity of the situation, I grabbed this opportunity and punched him on his face. We both started hitting each other till the crowd interrupted in between and we left the place cursing each other.

I came back home, had a shower and went asleep. That time I hardly knew that it was my last sound sleep. As usual, I woke up at 3:30 PM in the evening for my office. While I was having a glass of milk in the balcony, I unexpectedly saw Partha speaking to few of my neighbors. What the hell this guy was doing near my place? I rushed myself inside as I wanted to avoid unnecessary fight, which I thought was already ended in the morning. I was slightly flustered by seeing this. Anyways, I made myself ready and left my place for the office. While I was near to infinity towers, I saw Partha and his accomplices again. They identified my car entering the premises of my office. Now how would you react when you know that the fight you thought to be ended in the morning still continues with a vengeance in the evening? Obviously, I couldn’t concentrate on my work. Shailly, one of my colleague understood that there is something wrong with me…Upon questioning, I told her that I was just trying to avoid seeing few bad faces…She then asked me to write an email to the team members citing the venue and date of the team party, to which I plainly denied. While interacting with Shailly, I was thinking about Partha and his people. Even during a chat with Navneet, about the team party I reacted as if I wasn’t chatting with my boss, coz Partha was still there in my mind. The disturbance just increased when I saw these goons waiting outside my office. They couldn’t see me as I was along with Puneet in his car. We were going to check out a Samsung LCD TV for him at a nearby mall. However, the tension declined when Puneet and I returned back to office and I did not see them around…Well, it was just the beginning…

While returning home, I thought I should not take my car, back home as it could reveal my whereabouts. I decided to walk through the interiors of Infinity and Cybergreen Towers to reach home. While I was crossing the road to move towards Cybergreen Towers, someone placed a blanket like thing over my head to cover it and tried to push me in a van. Soon I realized I was in the company of Partha and his goons. They took me to an unidentified dark flat outside Gurgaon and tied me to a pillar. Subsequently, Partha disclosed, he would kill me soon. All my pleas to leave me unhurt were unheard. After an hour or so, I don’t know how but Partha and his men had a fight among themselves. I think one of them, retaliated against Partha’s plan to kill me. When this guy tried to untie me, Partha attacked him from back and injured his skull, which started bleeding. Before dying, this guy was successful enough to loosen my knots, which Partha couldn’t realize. When Partha moved to another room, I gradually untied myself and frisked the already dead goon to grab his revolver. I saw Ecstasy MX5021 with a blue semicircle, carved on his revolver which was loaded with only one bullet. That’s how I got this revolver. Using my Parkour Skills which I am practicing these days in my Martial Arts classes, I jumped swiftly from the window to run away from that place. After running for about half an hour, I suspected someone chasing me. To save myself, I entered the backdoor of this factory like building, to hide myself.

Beep Beep Beep Beep…

The alarm watch tickled at 4:00 PM which brought me back from the flashback…the series of events moved like a filmstrip while I was trying to sleep yesterday…one thing was for sure…the factory like building was the same place where I killed this guy…now the only thing which I wasn’t so sure of was, whether I killed Partha or his other henchmen…Since I killed a person, I presumed I won’t be spared by law. So I decided to hide the fact from everyone…It’s only that I was worried about the fact that one of those three people who tried killing me is still alive and might try to kill me again. Anyhow, I decided to deal with the situation on my own. I was more vigilant now…but somehow I had to portray of living a normal life, the way I live everyday…so I made myself up to go to office.

I shaved, had a shower, and wore my executive formals with a white shirt. White is the color which depicts peace and that’s exactly what I wanted in life now…and believe me, since I did not join my team members for the dinner party, the evening mostly went peaceful in the office without work…it’s only the nights which create problems for me. When it was dark, I thought to check the outskirts of my office premises, just to confirm if someone still had vengeance upon me. Well, I could not gather enough guts to step outside my office premises completely…so I gazed outside from the entrance door of my office situated just near the reception counter. This is the place where I spend break time sipping tea and having some eye tonic mostly along with Puneet and Brijesh. I got a sigh of relief when Brijesh approached me. Well he was just entering the premises to begin his day. He asked me what I was doing there. I simply lied, citing him that I was waiting for one of my team members to take his monthly 1x1 sessions, where as I was checking if Partha or his henchmen were waiting for me outside. Well I saw nobody, which actually made me relieved.

That night, after finishing my regular work, I drove my car to go back home. The moment I was about to take a U turn from Shankar Chaok, I saw Partha near the Gateway Towers (Ship type building). Fearing him, my steering automatically took the car to the National Highway 8 (NH8) towards Dhaula Kua. Well the rear view mirror showed him along with one of his goons on a motorbike speeding towards my car.

Since the road is pretty wide I thought it would be a wrong move to drive and find safety on that road. So I took a left turn to enter Udyog Vihar where my previous office was situated. I was well versed with the roads and subways there. Due to my unexpected left turn to Udyog Vihar, Partha kind of missed me for a while. Taking advantage of this time, I switched off the head and tail lights of my car and rushed on a dark subway. When I was convinced that nobody watched me, I decided to rush & park my car in the vicinity of nearby bushes and start running on the narrow lanes of Udyog Vihar, which is an industrial area full of call centers and manufacturing units. Since I had to switch off my car lights in the dark night, I had a poor vision while I rushed my car into the bushes.

While doing so, I felt as if I had hit something. When I stepped out of my car, I was shocked to see a slum dweller child lying near the bushes. He was still alive, but unconscious as my car ran over left side of his body which started bleeding heavily. Thinking that he still was alive, I picked him up so as to rush him to the nearby hospital. Partha was still in my mind and I had to protect myself from his cruel intentions too. Fear of getting prosecuted by law for rash driving also started bothering me. Guilt of killing someone also chilled my spine completely. There were too many things in my small mind which certainly went wrong. Gradually I realized my shirt was getting wet by the constant bleeding of the child I was holding. For the first time I literally smell blood that too on my shirt…believe me that was a horrific experience even to describe. His blood spelled all over my body. In fact my white shirt wasn’t white anymore. I thought to grab help from few of my friends. So I called Puneet on his cell. Obviously, he missed the call as his cell phone might have been kept with the office guard. We are not allowed to carry cell phones in our office. So I dialed his desk telephone but he wasn’t there too. I got a sigh of relief when I saw a hospital, where I handed over the child for treatment and left the place. The hospital authorities wanted me to complete the formalities, which I plainly denied in order to avoid legal consequences.

With a sense of contentment I stepped out of the hospital. It was 3:00 am in the morning with darkness all around. My shirt was still wet entirely with blood on it; hence I started feeling a bit cold and was worried about my car too, which was left unattended. It obviously was a wrong idea to leave my car, however going back towards it would just increase the degree of wrongness. So I started walking the narrow lanes of Udyog Vihar. Upon walking a few miles, I saw a mobile trolley (haath thelaa) and a person sleeping near to it. I realized that most of such people who sell stuffs on such trolleys don’t have homes to sleep. So they use footpaths to meet their sleeping needs. Anyways, I tried to wake him up; however, he was in a state of deep sleep. I thought to check his trolley which turned out to be a small coconut water selling shop. Luckily I found a long knife which the seller used to chop tender coconuts before serving it to the customers. I thought to keep the knife in my custody as it could definitely help me in protecting myself from Partha. I moved on, grabbing his knife and leaving two notes of Rs 100/- for the seller in lieu of his knife.

The narrow lanes seemed to be never ending. I was tired of walking and running to save myself. When I crossed the road, to enter into another lane, I somehow made myself visible in the street light. As always, visibility proved fatal for me. Partha saw me and shouted – “Look, he is there…get him”. Obviously he wasn’t alone. Both of them seemed to be the gods of death who opened their arms gloatingly and were expecting my life outside my body. I was literally feeling the spine chilling fear moving everywhere in my body. I normally practice for marathons, but this time I turned myself into a sprinter and ran the fastest I could, from one lane to the other to hide myself from them. I don’t really know how long did this cat rat chase continued, but when I felt I dodged them I found myself on Jaipur highway (NH8). I couldn’t believe I covered a distance from Udyog Vihar to the outskirts of Gurgaon barely running on my feet. A sense of getting chased was still there in my mind and hence getting hidden was the only option left for me. Suddenly I heard few footsteps moving here and there, as if someone was around. I saw this building which I felt was a perfect place to hide myself. Subsequently, I moved in through the entrance of that building which turned out to be a manufacturing unit seemed to have kept closed for few months. It was dark all over with a very dim light inside.

I was cent percent sure; there was someone else in the building other than me. It could either be Partha or his henchmen, I wasn’t sure. This time I gathered some courage to face the situation. So I decided to search this guy in the darkness and get all my answers. I wasn’t feared much, because I felt there was only one person in that building apart from me and I had a knife for any adverse situation. So very slowly, swiftly but precautiously, I was trying to search this guy. That’s when my cell phone started beeping with my James Bond ringtone. I was terrified as the other person might have certainly got to know where I was hiding. I immediately pulled the cell phone out of my pocket and placed it on silence mode. It was Puneet who tried to respond to my call which he initially missed. I kept the cell phone in my pocket, held the knife in my hand tightly and looked here and there to confirm if someone was around me. Suddenly I heard something. As if someone was loading a revolver to point it towards me. Obviously he wasn’t motivated with benevolent intentions. The only thing I could make out about him was that he was behind my life. And if I have to save myself, there was no other way left for me but to kill him. Confusion along with terror, were the only two things I had in my mind.

I raised my knife and shouted at him “Oye”… That was the moment; I felt the jerk of the bullet into my chest. The sound created by the shot left me completely shocked. For few seconds there was just a point blank silence with only one exception - echo of the shot. In fact there were two. The knife which slipped from my hand created another sound when it hit the floor. And I regained my consciousness only to see a blue semicircle along with “Ecstasy MX5021” written on his revolver which got slipped from his hands at a visible distance from me. I was flat on the ground and my upper body was exposed to a mild ray of dim light. I could visibly see my red shirt which got pierced due to the bullet he shot on me. Wait a minute; I was wearing a white shirt, so how did it turn red? Oh God, the blood on my shirt actually made it look red. I looked at the long knife I was carrying and in darkness it looked as if it was a dagger. I suddenly realized that it was the same factory where I initially killed someone inadvertently. Was that someone, me?

I was chilled, aghast, paralyzed and completely shocked.

Before getting stiff, I whispered, “Aaah! You can’t be Rishi, right?”

“What if I am? Won’t you have killed me?” he replied and eloped from the backdoor of the factory.