Confessions Of An Innocent Killer...

With all the fears in my mind, I loaded the Ecstasy MX5021 with the first and the only bullet I managed to grab from few local goons who tried to kill me.

My hands were literally shaking when I terrifyingly raised it on him. With a dim light near to me, it was dark all around and I could not see his face. This guy was searching me with a dagger like thing in his right hand. Obviously he wasn’t motivated with benevolent intentions. The only thing I could make out about him was that he was behind my life. And if I have to save myself, there was no other way left for me but to kill him. Confusion along with terror, were the only two things I had in my mind. For the first time in life, gathering courage actually took a lot of it.

The moment he turned towards me, he raised his dagger and shouted at me “Oye”… That was the moment; I felt the jerk of the revolver I was carrying in my hand. The sound created by the shot left me completely shocked. For few seconds there was just a point blank silence with only one exception - echo of the shot. In fact there were two. The dagger which slipped from his hand created another sound when it hit the floor. And I regained my consciousness. The Ecstasy MX5021 slipped off my hands too, after seeing the horrific scene. This guy was flat in front of me. His upper body was exposed to a mild ray of dim light and I could visibly see his red shirt which got pierced due to the bullet I shot on him.

Before getting stiff, he whispered, “Aaah! You can’t be Rishi, right?”

“What if I am? Won’t you have killed me?” I replied.

I realized, I inadvertently committed a crime to save my life. Being there for some more time was a bad idea, so I immediately eloped from the backdoor of that place without even checking who he was.

It was 6:00 in the morning yesterday when I reached home after this incident. If I am not exercising, it’s a fairly normal time for me to go asleep, as I do evening shifts in my office. I set the alarm to 4 PM and tried to sleep. What do you think? Having committed a crime, will it be easier to sleep? Bloody hell…I shot a guy dead…how could I do it? Visions of his red shirt and a wound on it haunted me and I couldn’t sleep. While on bed, I was continuously thinking if I should report the incident to the police. Simultaneously, I was trying to estimate the consequences too.

With this background in mind, I was trying to do the root cause analysis of this unfortunate incident. So I purposefully went into the flashback…two days ago, while returning from my martial arts classes, my car met with a small mishap. I was waiting on a red traffic signal when another car hit my car from back.

I was furious over that guy, who turned out to be a local goon called Partha Roychaudhary. While our argument turned out to be a serious fight, he tried to hit me on my face and somehow missed on it. Realizing the gravity of the situation, I grabbed this opportunity and punched him on his face. We both started hitting each other till the crowd interrupted in between and we left the place cursing each other.

I came back home, had a shower and went asleep. That time I hardly knew that it was my last sound sleep. As usual, I woke up at 3:30 PM in the evening for my office. While I was having a glass of milk in the balcony, I unexpectedly saw Partha speaking to few of my neighbors. What the hell this guy was doing near my place? I rushed myself inside as I wanted to avoid unnecessary fight, which I thought was already ended in the morning. I was slightly flustered by seeing this. Anyways, I made myself ready and left my place for the office. While I was near to infinity towers, I saw Partha and his accomplices again. They identified my car entering the premises of my office. Now how would you react when you know that the fight you thought to be ended in the morning still continues with a vengeance in the evening? Obviously, I couldn’t concentrate on my work. Shailly, one of my colleague understood that there is something wrong with me…Upon questioning, I told her that I was just trying to avoid seeing few bad faces…She then asked me to write an email to the team members citing the venue and date of the team party, to which I plainly denied. While interacting with Shailly, I was thinking about Partha and his people. Even during a chat with Navneet, about the team party I reacted as if I wasn’t chatting with my boss, coz Partha was still there in my mind. The disturbance just increased when I saw these goons waiting outside my office. They couldn’t see me as I was along with Puneet in his car. We were going to check out a Samsung LCD TV for him at a nearby mall. However, the tension declined when Puneet and I returned back to office and I did not see them around…Well, it was just the beginning…

While returning home, I thought I should not take my car, back home as it could reveal my whereabouts. I decided to walk through the interiors of Infinity and Cybergreen Towers to reach home. While I was crossing the road to move towards Cybergreen Towers, someone placed a blanket like thing over my head to cover it and tried to push me in a van. Soon I realized I was in the company of Partha and his goons. They took me to an unidentified dark flat outside Gurgaon and tied me to a pillar. Subsequently, Partha disclosed, he would kill me soon. All my pleas to leave me unhurt were unheard. After an hour or so, I don’t know how but Partha and his men had a fight among themselves. I think one of them, retaliated against Partha’s plan to kill me. When this guy tried to untie me, Partha attacked him from back and injured his skull, which started bleeding. Before dying, this guy was successful enough to loosen my knots, which Partha couldn’t realize. When Partha moved to another room, I gradually untied myself and frisked the already dead goon to grab his revolver. I saw Ecstasy MX5021 with a blue semicircle, carved on his revolver which was loaded with only one bullet. That’s how I got this revolver. Using my Parkour Skills which I am practicing these days in my Martial Arts classes, I jumped swiftly from the window to run away from that place. After running for about half an hour, I suspected someone chasing me. To save myself, I entered the backdoor of this factory like building, to hide myself.

Beep Beep Beep Beep…

The alarm watch tickled at 4:00 PM which brought me back from the flashback…the series of events moved like a filmstrip while I was trying to sleep yesterday…one thing was for sure…the factory like building was the same place where I killed this guy…now the only thing which I wasn’t so sure of was, whether I killed Partha or his other henchmen…Since I killed a person, I presumed I won’t be spared by law. So I decided to hide the fact from everyone…It’s only that I was worried about the fact that one of those three people who tried killing me is still alive and might try to kill me again. Anyhow, I decided to deal with the situation on my own. I was more vigilant now…but somehow I had to portray of living a normal life, the way I live everyday…so I made myself up to go to office.

I shaved, had a shower, and wore my executive formals with a white shirt. White is the color which depicts peace and that’s exactly what I wanted in life now…and believe me, since I did not join my team members for the dinner party, the evening mostly went peaceful in the office without work…it’s only the nights which create problems for me. When it was dark, I thought to check the outskirts of my office premises, just to confirm if someone still had vengeance upon me. Well, I could not gather enough guts to step outside my office premises completely…so I gazed outside from the entrance door of my office situated just near the reception counter. This is the place where I spend break time sipping tea and having some eye tonic mostly along with Puneet and Brijesh. I got a sigh of relief when Brijesh approached me. Well he was just entering the premises to begin his day. He asked me what I was doing there. I simply lied, citing him that I was waiting for one of my team members to take his monthly 1x1 sessions, where as I was checking if Partha or his henchmen were waiting for me outside. Well I saw nobody, which actually made me relieved.

That night, after finishing my regular work, I drove my car to go back home. The moment I was about to take a U turn from Shankar Chaok, I saw Partha near the Gateway Towers (Ship type building). Fearing him, my steering automatically took the car to the National Highway 8 (NH8) towards Dhaula Kua. Well the rear view mirror showed him along with one of his goons on a motorbike speeding towards my car.

Since the road is pretty wide I thought it would be a wrong move to drive and find safety on that road. So I took a left turn to enter Udyog Vihar where my previous office was situated. I was well versed with the roads and subways there. Due to my unexpected left turn to Udyog Vihar, Partha kind of missed me for a while. Taking advantage of this time, I switched off the head and tail lights of my car and rushed on a dark subway. When I was convinced that nobody watched me, I decided to rush & park my car in the vicinity of nearby bushes and start running on the narrow lanes of Udyog Vihar, which is an industrial area full of call centers and manufacturing units. Since I had to switch off my car lights in the dark night, I had a poor vision while I rushed my car into the bushes.

While doing so, I felt as if I had hit something. When I stepped out of my car, I was shocked to see a slum dweller child lying near the bushes. He was still alive, but unconscious as my car ran over left side of his body which started bleeding heavily. Thinking that he still was alive, I picked him up so as to rush him to the nearby hospital. Partha was still in my mind and I had to protect myself from his cruel intentions too. Fear of getting prosecuted by law for rash driving also started bothering me. Guilt of killing someone also chilled my spine completely. There were too many things in my small mind which certainly went wrong. Gradually I realized my shirt was getting wet by the constant bleeding of the child I was holding. For the first time I literally smell blood that too on my shirt…believe me that was a horrific experience even to describe. His blood spelled all over my body. In fact my white shirt wasn’t white anymore. I thought to grab help from few of my friends. So I called Puneet on his cell. Obviously, he missed the call as his cell phone might have been kept with the office guard. We are not allowed to carry cell phones in our office. So I dialed his desk telephone but he wasn’t there too. I got a sigh of relief when I saw a hospital, where I handed over the child for treatment and left the place. The hospital authorities wanted me to complete the formalities, which I plainly denied in order to avoid legal consequences.

With a sense of contentment I stepped out of the hospital. It was 3:00 am in the morning with darkness all around. My shirt was still wet entirely with blood on it; hence I started feeling a bit cold and was worried about my car too, which was left unattended. It obviously was a wrong idea to leave my car, however going back towards it would just increase the degree of wrongness. So I started walking the narrow lanes of Udyog Vihar. Upon walking a few miles, I saw a mobile trolley (haath thelaa) and a person sleeping near to it. I realized that most of such people who sell stuffs on such trolleys don’t have homes to sleep. So they use footpaths to meet their sleeping needs. Anyways, I tried to wake him up; however, he was in a state of deep sleep. I thought to check his trolley which turned out to be a small coconut water selling shop. Luckily I found a long knife which the seller used to chop tender coconuts before serving it to the customers. I thought to keep the knife in my custody as it could definitely help me in protecting myself from Partha. I moved on, grabbing his knife and leaving two notes of Rs 100/- for the seller in lieu of his knife.

The narrow lanes seemed to be never ending. I was tired of walking and running to save myself. When I crossed the road, to enter into another lane, I somehow made myself visible in the street light. As always, visibility proved fatal for me. Partha saw me and shouted – “Look, he is there…get him”. Obviously he wasn’t alone. Both of them seemed to be the gods of death who opened their arms gloatingly and were expecting my life outside my body. I was literally feeling the spine chilling fear moving everywhere in my body. I normally practice for marathons, but this time I turned myself into a sprinter and ran the fastest I could, from one lane to the other to hide myself from them. I don’t really know how long did this cat rat chase continued, but when I felt I dodged them I found myself on Jaipur highway (NH8). I couldn’t believe I covered a distance from Udyog Vihar to the outskirts of Gurgaon barely running on my feet. A sense of getting chased was still there in my mind and hence getting hidden was the only option left for me. Suddenly I heard few footsteps moving here and there, as if someone was around. I saw this building which I felt was a perfect place to hide myself. Subsequently, I moved in through the entrance of that building which turned out to be a manufacturing unit seemed to have kept closed for few months. It was dark all over with a very dim light inside.

I was cent percent sure; there was someone else in the building other than me. It could either be Partha or his henchmen, I wasn’t sure. This time I gathered some courage to face the situation. So I decided to search this guy in the darkness and get all my answers. I wasn’t feared much, because I felt there was only one person in that building apart from me and I had a knife for any adverse situation. So very slowly, swiftly but precautiously, I was trying to search this guy. That’s when my cell phone started beeping with my James Bond ringtone. I was terrified as the other person might have certainly got to know where I was hiding. I immediately pulled the cell phone out of my pocket and placed it on silence mode. It was Puneet who tried to respond to my call which he initially missed. I kept the cell phone in my pocket, held the knife in my hand tightly and looked here and there to confirm if someone was around me. Suddenly I heard something. As if someone was loading a revolver to point it towards me. Obviously he wasn’t motivated with benevolent intentions. The only thing I could make out about him was that he was behind my life. And if I have to save myself, there was no other way left for me but to kill him. Confusion along with terror, were the only two things I had in my mind.

I raised my knife and shouted at him “Oye”… That was the moment; I felt the jerk of the bullet into my chest. The sound created by the shot left me completely shocked. For few seconds there was just a point blank silence with only one exception - echo of the shot. In fact there were two. The knife which slipped from my hand created another sound when it hit the floor. And I regained my consciousness only to see a blue semicircle along with “Ecstasy MX5021” written on his revolver which got slipped from his hands at a visible distance from me. I was flat on the ground and my upper body was exposed to a mild ray of dim light. I could visibly see my red shirt which got pierced due to the bullet he shot on me. Wait a minute; I was wearing a white shirt, so how did it turn red? Oh God, the blood on my shirt actually made it look red. I looked at the long knife I was carrying and in darkness it looked as if it was a dagger. I suddenly realized that it was the same factory where I initially killed someone inadvertently. Was that someone, me?

I was chilled, aghast, paralyzed and completely shocked.

Before getting stiff, I whispered, “Aaah! You can’t be Rishi, right?”

“What if I am? Won’t you have killed me?” he replied and eloped from the backdoor of the factory.

Dear Pops - You Are Now Officially Declared A Senior Citizen...

With every key tone that my Pops was pressing, on his cell phones keypad, I was getting irritated as I could hardly concentrate on my studies. I immediately addressed him…

Me – Pops wo keytone off karo bala…ekdum uncivilized tareeke se rehte ho aap.

I asked for his cell phone so that I can switch off the key tone. However, my Dad took what I said lightly and locked his cell phone and kept it aside. He did not allow me to switch off the key tone. Now that’s something which he might like it. Although working for multinational companies made me imbibe certain attributes which we generally call professional mannerisms, my father was always posted in the remote areas of various states in India, with a public sector company. His ways and mannerisms mostly reflect country side culture for which we always poke him with our comments…he he he…that’s how we try to irritate each other…sometimes knowingly and mostly inadvertently.

Pops – My dear son…I want to give you the best…

Me – Pops now I can get it myself, you don’t have to worry about it…

Pops – See on my 60^th birthday, I want to give you a present…

And my father presented me a video CD. When I opened the pack, it turned out to be a Movie called – Hitler. My father very well knows that I am a die hard fan of Adolf Hitler. Now that’s when we refer to international historical icons…I do have a national one too – Shivaji. My father recalls my college days, when I kept Hitler styled moustache for a week, as a fashion statement. Everyone laughed at it when I did so, but my Pops appreciated it. In fact today also he appreciates my dictatorship very much, but not on him…he he he…people who know me know it very well that in real life, I live like Hitler. In fact, many of my colleagues, subordinates and friends address me as Hitler, sometimes on my face and mostly when I am not around. And my father knows it very well that I simply love the way military works - by command. You all might have heard your friends / colleagues addressing their fathers as Hitler, but in my case, my father calls me a Hitler…he he he

This year, it was my sister’s idea to change my father’s style. Now that my father would be getting retired and would be leading a city / metro life, she thought that my father must not look like a government babu…he he he…consequently, she got her two Polo T-shirts. When he wore them, he looked different, more of an urban father….he he he. Realizing this, I gifted him 8 pairs of Polo T-shirts along with 2 pairs of Corduroy trousers. So he has undergone a complete makeover…he he he…and the best part is that even my father liked it very much…he he he

When it comes to birthdays, my father has his own style of celebrations. He does not believe in cake cutting ceremony. Rather he likes to keep it simple. Wait; please don’t get yourself deceived by the word – simple. As it is not that very simple as you might have thought. He just likes to give himself a treat…with his predetermined Baghaara Chawal along with Daalcha…and when it comes to his taste buds, believe me no one in this entire world can match it. My Mom generally follows SOP (standard operating procedures) while cooking food. Contrary to this, my father likes to experiment and comes up with very delicious innovations. Everytime he cooks, he comes up with the same things, but in a different avatar. And that’s what makes his cooking very special. This time also, he prepared his Daalcha with a different touch – soya nuggets in it. And trust me, it was heaven. Especially along with my Mom’s SOP based Baghaara Chaawal, which again is loved by everyone who tasted it. Generally I haven’t found any one till now who follows this SOP…which makes her baghaara chaawal not only unique but deliciously blissful too…

This year, I am kind off busy…with my exam preparation. As such, I found very difficult to spare time for my family affair. I couldn’t even manage celebrating Diwali, day before yesterday. Since, I was hooked up with my studies, I thought that my Pop’s birthday would also be just like Diwali…me being busy with studies…But then it’s his 60^th birthday. A time when he will be getting retired from all his duties. It’s a time, when he would be leaving all his official colleagues to join us back home…and be a family man 24 X 7. Isn’t it special? Definitely it is…so to hell with studies for a while…

I took time to get a birthday cake for him…hooked up a small family get together…asked him to cut his 60^th birthday cake…had some good & quality time spent with him…caught those moments in our camera and missed my younger brother Samrat a lot…He works in Dubai and hence we had to celebrate it without him…but then he is always the first one to whish us on our days…

When I am home, people know it very well that I have my lunch and dinner sitting on the floor (ground), that too with traditionally Indianized way of eating with my right hand…I just love it…he he he…so when I was enjoying my Bagharaa Chaawal and Daalcha tonight, my Pops didn’t miss a chance to comment.

Pops – Oye my dear son, tu naa neeche baith ke jangleeyo ki tarah haath se khana mat khayaa kar bala…hamko dekh, kaise shaan se table pe baithke, chammach se khana khaate hai…he he he…Multinational company me ek Assistant Manager hoke bhi aise jangleeyo ki tarah khaana khaataa hai…he he he...ekdum UNCIVILIZED lagtaa hai…he he he

Now that’s what we have - a family…our very own, very special family…with all our nok jhoks, we celebrate life. We celebrate the spirit of being together.

Along with our entire family, including Samrat, your Hitler wishes you – A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY POPS…

DAMM – I Couldn’t Taste My Birthday Cake…

Very few people know my whereabouts, especially when I am on an official leave. You can count them on your fingers. That’s because I just don’t like people bothering me when I am on leaves specially dedicated to my studies.

It was around 11.00 pm when my studies were on full swing…I was trying to analyze the selection of Multifactor Models for charting out the characteristics of an Equity Portfolio through Stock Selection, Sector Allocation and their interaction. And yes, I wasn’t just getting it right…coz it’s too complicated an equation to be mastered for managing investor’s portfolios. I thought to close my eyes and grasp the entire equation which actually takes more than half a page to present mathematically. And I was like…half asleep. Trying to concentrate on different sector allocation patterns which a portfolio can take along with several equity based securities…I was just llllllloving it…it was my world…full of stocks, their fundamental characteristics and technical patterns. And guess, what happens whenever I am deeply engrossed with my capital market meditation? My cell phone rings and breaks the tranquility of my serene mind. He he he…and this time also it rang...

The typical James Bond musical ringtone irritated me…I immediately grabbed my cell phone, checked who’s calling and found Puneet Raheja on the caller screen. Now why is Puneet calling me when he knows I am not in office and that too at 1.22 am in the midnight?

Puneet: Hey Rishi? Kyaa kar rahe ho yaar abhi?

Me: Pata nahi…padh rahaa thaa…yaa shayad so rahaa thaa…bolo? Itni raat me kaise yaad kiya?

Puneet: Chalo aajao neeche…Brijesh bhi hai mere saath…

And I was like zapped…neeche?…these guys were standing downstairs at my place at 1:22 am in the night…what’s going on man…? And then I realized…ye log zaroor koi khuraafat ke mood me hai…he he he…I woke up, searched my chappals, and peeped outside my balcony…these people were waiting for me outside with a box like thing in their hands. It was then when I realized that ab meri waat lagegi…I realized it was my birthday and these people would be celebrating it by pasting cake on my entire body…

It was all dark outside my place. May be the street lights were not working. And when I walked down, Puneet raised his voice – chalo Mili ko bhi bulaa lo…tumharaa birthday celebrate karnaa hai…

Me: Abe pagal ho gaye ho kyaa? Dheere bolo…parivaar wala insaan hoo mai…usne sun liyaa naa to meri waat lag jaayegi…

Puneet: Are bhai…aaj tumhara birthday hai…un logo kaa honaa to zaroori hai…chalo bulao Mili ko…chalo chhodo, Arpitaa ko bulaa lo kam se kam…

I was literally getting irritated…Mili and Arpita are the two girls who recently moved in the ground floor of the same building where I stay…just imagine what could have happened if they would have listened to our conversation…And Puneet was howling just in front of their door…he he he…Dost aise ho to dushmano ki kyaa zaroorat…he he he…

Jaise taise, these people opened the Barista box…And I was again bothered…I am dieting these days and these people brought a chocolate cake for me which are generally very high on calories…he he he…

Me: Abe tum logo ko yahi time milaa tha mera birthday celebrate karne ko…

Brijesh: Sirji…aapka birthday hai…zor shor se celebrate honaa chaahiye…hum to fir bhi shaanti se celebrate karenge…

Me: Dikh rahaa hai kitni shaanti se celebrate kar rahe ho…bus ab ye pasting wasting mat karnaa ab…tum logo ko pataa hi hai that I don’t like it…

Puneet: Haa haa…nahi karenge…humko bhi pataa hai you don’t like it. Chalo ab cake kaato jaldi se…hame office nikalnaa hai…kaafi kaam padaa hai…

Me: Chalo uper…ghar me kaatenge cake…yahaa kaafi andhera hai…

Puneet: Nahi…yahi pe kaatenge…ghar pe sab so rahe honge…let’s not disturb them…chalo yahi pe kaato cake…

I was slightly apprehensive in cutting the cake, as I knew the basic characteristics of these people. Especially after seeing Puneet’s cake cutting ceremony on his birthday two weeks ago. I gathered some courage which actually took me 5 full minutes to do so…and then under the dim light of Brijesh’s cell phone, I slightly chopped a slice of the cake. I took the slice and offered it to Brijesh…he patiently ate a portion of it. I was waiting ke koi action ho…thank god…nothing happened…then I took another slice of the cake and offered it to Puneet. He also ate a portion of it and nothing happened. I was astonished – ye kyaa ho rahaa hai…why aren’t these people behaving the way they are?

Brijesh: Sirji…aap bhi to lo…aapka hi birthday hai aur aap hi nahi khaaoge to kaisaa hogaa

Me: Ok ok…I will have it…

The moment I picked a small portion of the cake in my hands, I felt something wet on my head…And I was like – ye kyaa hai? Then Brijesh tightly gripped my hands and Puneet started pasting the cake on my face.

Me: Saalo…tumko bola tha…ye sab mat karo…fir bhi

Chappaak…was the sound I heard on my head…I think it was Mommo’s chutney which Puneet splashed on my head…I don’t really know what all things these people used on my body…Eggs, Sauce, Mommo’s Chutney and the cake too…I think they also used some keechad (wet mud) on my back. I completely gave myself up to these guys…Puneet took a piece of cake and dropped it inside my pants. Yaak…what a bakwaas feeling it was…as if I had a potty while wearing my pants…hoooooooooooooo…

It was then when something just got cooked in my mind…why should only Puneet and Brijesh have fun if it’s my birthday…he he he…why not to change the rules a bit and make it more interesting…? Eureka Eureka…

I grabbed a bigger portion of the cake and pretended as if I would be eating it all alone. Surprisingly, I splashed the entire cake on Puneet’s face. What an amazing idea? Both Brijesh and Puneet were first zapped, and then were completely zoomed by this. While we were in the middle of our so called cake splashing, Puneet realized that his spectacles fell on the ground which suddenly made him myopic in the dark surroundings of my place. Taking advantage of the situation, I grabbed another piece of cake and ran towards Puneet. Realizing my violent moves, Puneet and Brijesh took opposite directions, so as to confuse me. And then began our chase & hunt game which lasted for about 15 minutes. Puneet was trying to search his spectacles too, as he feared that someone of us would walk on it only to break it. So he had two challenges, one to search his spectacles and the other one was to prevent himself from my sudden emotional outburst…He he he…Brijesh tried his best to help him but could not do so…they also took the help of a watchman and two of my neighbors who were enjoying the show from a distance.

Puneet: Abe holi thode hi hai aaj…it’s your birthday…only we are supposed to splash cake on you…

Me: Sorry guys…the rules are slightly changed…since it’s my day today, I would be deciding what should be on the platter…he he he…

After some hit and trial, I though to use my martial art grappling techniques to get these guys…I illusioned Puneet as if I would be hitting his face, and simultaneously used my legs to intercept his running…Guess what happened?…Puneet lost his balance and slipped on the ground with a forceful momentum…only to get himself injured on his palm. Mercy…what’s that? Ask any martial artist, and he would advice you to take advantage of this situation rather than getting emotional…he he he…

Puneets face and neck was completely splashed with cake…he he he…

Puneet: Yaar ye kyaa kar diya?…dekho mujhe chot bhi lag gayi…meri pant bhi fat gayi…shayad shirt bhi…

Me: Wow…amazing…maine bola thaa bhaagne ke liye…

Realizing that Puneet injured himself…Brijesh lost his emotional balance and approached us…fir kyaa thaa…he also got himself pasted with the cake I was still carrying in my pants. He he he…remember that potty wala feeling…he he he…yaak…

Brijesh: Ye kaisaa birthday celebration tha sirji…meri to kuch samajh me nahi aa rahaa…

Me: he he he…aap hi logo ka idea thaa cake splashing karne kaa…

Puneet: Yaar wo sab chhodo…meri to paant bhi fat gayi hai…ye dekho ghutne ke neeche…mujhe to office bhi janaa hai abhi…

Me: Office jaane ke liye kisne rokaa hai tumko…?

Puneet: Tumne to meri izzat faad di yaar…fati hui izzat leke office jaaungaa kyaa ab mai?...dashboard bhi banana hai mujhe yaar…

Me: He he he…bhai mere…izzat ghutne se barah inch uper hoti hai…neeche nahi…shukar manao…maine wo nahi faadi…he he he…warnaa tumhaare dashboard me uski bhi entry ho jaati…he he he…

Brijesh: Sirji thoda paani milega…? Dho lete hai thoda…

Me: Uper chalo…yahaa khulle me dho-oge kya?

Puneet: Nahi yaar…do bottle paani laa lo…hum usi me nibtaa lenge…meanwhile I would search my spectacles…

I went upstairs at my place and got a bucket full of water along with a bottle of drinking water. When these people cleaned themselves up, I gave Puneet his spectacles which I only grabbed during the cake splashing, purposefully to make him myopic…he he he…

After the entire drama, both Brijesh and Puneet vowed that they would never bring cake in any of my future birthdays…he he he…

Brijesh: Meri to ab tak samajh me nahi aa rahaa hai ke ye kyaa thaa sirji?

Me: Expect the unexpected…at-least from me…he he he

Puneet was speechless…these people never had a birthday experience like this one…

Even I never had such an experience in my entire lifetime…this one was really unique.

I was seriously missing Manoj…had he been here, I am sure, we would have created something more interesting…We four together complete DAMM…Disguised Assistant Manager’s Meet…but since Manoj is working from another office, I understand his absence.

After having a nice bath, I checked my cell phone only to know that Sushant and Sumit already tried to reach me while I was deeply engrossed in my Capital Market Meditation. He he he...Though few in numbers, I do have faithful buddies who try to surprise me only to get surprised in return…he he he…

You know what…I couldn’t even taste my birthday cake as it was entirely used for splashing…just imagine, how HOLI-stically was my birthday celebrated…he he he…so while writing this blog, I am tasting few of my diet biscuits along with some sprouts, instead of cake…he he he…birthday experience, with a different touch…

DAMM rocks…because Puneet rocks, Brijesh rocks, Manoj rocks…and Rishi Knocks...isn’t it? he he he

Love Aajkal...

Imtiaz Ali is a fabulous story teller…I liked both of his earlier movies…Socha Na Thaa and Jab We Met. Even Saif & Deepika starrer Love Aajkal is watchable…one time atleast…All the three films have one thing in common…the creatively realistic way of portraying real life incidents in a very simple way…now that’s how life unfolds…may be that’s the reason, Imtiaz connects with it’s audiences very well…

The movie has two parallel stories going on simultaneously…one belongs to the modern era…and the other belongs to the good old times of 60’s…while the modern story has lot more complications, the older one is just sweet and makes us feel nostalgic at times…The modern story is dwindled by complex practicality where as the older one is just based on a simple emotion called love…that’s exactly the point is…today, we have so many things which keeps bothering us that simple emotions like love has more challenges to face. Of course, there were challenges in older times as well, but they never confused people exhibiting emotions…they either used to be in love, or not…where as in today’s times, people always remain confused about it, sometimes unknowingly and most of the times, knowingly…he he he…and when they actually realize it, they mostly cause damages to themselves and others too…so what? The audiences still wants the hero and heroine to unite in the end…after all, it’s still love…isn’t it?...he he he

Back to my Convergys days, I had a friend called Rupinder who used to tell me his love story with Richa, a team leader working in the same company, but in another process. Both I and Rupinder used to sit besides each other answering customer emails as a part of our daily job. I used to wonder how Richa and Rupinder could be married to each other because both of them had different designations in the same company, Richa being more successful than Rupinder…yet I was confident about their love for each other which they certainly won from their parent’s opposition. They made a decent couple with a decent compatibility. How simple? Isn’t it?

And then there were Sapna and Ritesh, who used to date each other accepting their love publicly. Since Ritesh was my friend, I kind of knew that both of them were seriously seeing each other…with an end in their minds…Breakup…! Now, that’s what they already knew from the beginning, yet they continued to enjoy the companionship for more than two years…Both of them knew, they could never convince their parents and they never tried it even once…Again, both of them made their story so very simple that we all knew what would happen once they part with other…he he he…

The sweet and intellectual girl called Soni was very much attracted towards Bhasker, my team leader. However, she used to spend most of her time with Raunak discussing how to make Bhasker fall for her….She knew it very well that Raunak was also attracted towards her…but then, Bhasker was all that she wanted those days…Girls often fall for handsome guys, where as average looking Raunak type of guys are just ignored by them…that’s a fact, which even I don’t deny much…

Rupali for that matter knew that Gautam was cheating her…yet, she fell for him. Gautam on the other hand, was reluctant accepting her as love of his life…the entire floor was aware of their bedtime stories too…yet I could never convince Rupali to leave Gautam and accept her parent’s wish of getting married to the one, they chose for her, back in their hometown.

While I was speaking to my Dad once, I saw Richa (Rupinder’s wife) smooching some other guy in the back of our office. I was furious over the scene and reacted immediately as Richa was my best friends wife. I saw that guy for the first time. Richa requested me, to be out of it. Since the guy already escaped from the scene, I irritatingly chose to remain silent in raising the issue as I never had the courage to tell Rupinder about this incident. After an hour or so, Rupinder approached me with the entire story requesting me to forget the incident. That guy was Richa’s ex-boyfriend who used to date Richa prior to Rupinder. When Rupinder entered Richa’s life, Richa felt that she already dumped that guy whom she was spotted smooching later on. Rupinder knew it well from the beginning that it was not over between Richa and that guy. Yet, the complexities and confusions of love forced both Richa and Rupinder to get married. Today, Richa is raising her child in Dehradoon where as Rupinder is staying in a live-in relationship with his Lady Boss. That’s Love Aajkal…for Rupinder and Richa

Sapna and Ritesh are not dating each other these days. Infact, Ritesh is still single with so many girlfriends along with his call center job. Whereas Sapna is well settled in America with her husband, who was no where in the picture those days. Well, that was still predictable. May be for Ritesh and Sapna, love was more of a short term assignment / project which they completed and then parted with each other happily. And no…unlike Saif and Deepika, they don’t try to contact each other post their break up…may be for them, that’s Love Aajkal…

Since Bhasker surprisingly got married to Kanchan, Soni was shattered. I also heard some stories of Raunak and Soni, but never believed…Raunak shifted himself to Kerala after getting married to a teacher where as Soni is still living in Delhi as a single…yet mother. Some say that she is raising Bhasker’s child, where as some say that Raunak dumped her after making her pregnant. I happened to meet her once…she is now working as a Company Secretary with Sharekhan Ltd., and is doing well in life. When I asked her about the real father of her child, she jokingly mentioned both Bhasker’s and Raunak’s name. I was zapped…how can this be possible…? She then revealed that she never knew out of Bhasker and Raunak, who is the real father of her child? But she loves her child very much…coz she sees both, Bhasker and Raunak in him…that’s Love Aajkal for Soni…

Even after six long years, Rupali is still seeing Gautam with a hope of getting married to him. Gautam, even today is a bastard, as he used to be earlier, using Rupali for his physical needs and yet not giving her the real commitment. I really don’t know whether it would give Rupali a new beginning or an end of her social life…but seriously, Rupali is expecting a lot from something which actually is nothing…may be that’s what is Love Aajkal for her…

The movie Love Aajkal might be about Saif and Deepika…where as there are other characters too in the film…Think of Saif’s Swiss girlfriend and Deepika’s husband, played by Rahul Khanna…Audiences are expected to forget those characters, where as real life is full of them roaming around us. Such people are nothing but victim of love…for them; love is more of a painful event, rather than a joyful life…

Now try this one…

About few years ago, on a business trip to Germany through Xchanging, Mitrashi and Akhilesh fell for each other…Mohnish and Rakhi realized love for each other…Ankit and Ritu started an affair…whereas, despite being friendly with Rakhi, Shubhangi silently loved Mohnish…it was nothing but team bonding…isn’t it? He he he…

Business? What’s that? All of them considered themselves tourists…The pairs enjoyed the time and life to the fullest, considering themselves Raj and Simran of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge…where in both of them also visit Europe, in the movie…he he he…

However, as life unfolds back in India, Mohnish and Rakhi no longer see each other. Reason – Shubhangi who completely revived herself from no-one to someone. Stories are still told about Mohnish and Shubhangi even though Mohnish is now married to some other girl…Whereas Rakhi is now seeing Akhilesh these days, who already broke up with Mitrashi. But the team bonding still remains intact, as Mitrashi started seeing Ankit. So what happens to Ritu…? Well, hope is the only name of the game for her…

Ahhhhhhhhhhh…CONFUSING…isn’t it? Grrrrrrrrrr

Well that’s how things move on in real life…

Most of the GenX today are not sure of what they want in real life. Some choose “Expression” as a way of love life…multiple times with multiple people, where as some willingly choose to remain tacit about their secret relationships, sharing a mutual understanding.

Life in a metro, still continues…with more and more complexities which people still love to call it - LOVE…or secretly hide it from the world…

Of-course there are people who know the true meaning of love and get it in their life, sometimes easily, whereas most of the times, they have to fight for it…I SALUTE SUCH PEOPLE…whom I can count them on my fingers…

And those who did not receive my Salute, I would advice you all to go ahead and watch this movie called – Love Aajkal…

Atleast, you all will have a goodtime; with who so ever is your current partner…he he he

That’s the least I can wish for you people…

By the way Love Aajkal, for me is a combo pack of…Investment Research & Martial Arts…now let me post this blog and get back to my love...after all it's exercise time for me...he he he...

Postmortem Of A Wrong Jump - Beyond Technicalities

Ever since my right ankle got injured, I felt that it’s a serious time for me to get back to the incident and analyze it historically. Kyaa kare…Once an analyst…Alwaaaays an analyst…he he he…research then becomes religion.

It’s a time for me to introspect as to what went wrong? And how can I avoid it in future?

I already mentioned in my previous blogs that my technique went wrong. But simply blaming the technique is not just sufficient. Of course, it forms the primary reason for my ankle injury. But there are other secondary factors too, which resulted in this miss-happening.

I have also mentioned earlier that my entire weight of 61 Kgs came on my right ankle while I landed on the slanting surface of the ground. It’s too much of a weight on an ankle which is made up of bones, muscles and ligaments, which are not strong enough presently to bear the shock. Oh yes! Shock should be the exact word which caused me an ankle injury.

The historical visualization of the incident revealed that my bulkiness (overweight), weaker bones & muscles, poor concentration, the lack of ankle sleeves and the absence of appropriate shock absorbing shoes are the secondary factors which attributed towards a plaster on my right leg. I seriously need to work on each of them…before I get back to action…

I was already on a weight reduction mode prior to this injury. To be in the range of an ideal Body Mass Index (BMI), I must weigh around 52 Kgs. I must work hard to shed those extra kilos of weight on my body so that elevation and landing becomes easier for me. Reduced weight will not apply too much of pressure on my Tibia & Fibula bones, my calf muscles and my ankle ligaments.

I spent countless number of hours doing research on how to make my knees and ankles stronger than what I currently have. YouTube proved to be a useful site citing best of the best videos through which I now know, how to make my lower body parts stronger.

Intake of proteins and calcium is very essential for me to build stronger muscles and bones. So I had to increase the quantity of Soya food and Skimmed Milk as a part of my daily meals. A liter of skimmed milk and two plates of soya food now form an integral part of my daily diet. Personally I don’t really support consuming protein powders and calcium pills. So my research on foods containing proteins and calcium in an adequate quantity is still continued…

Martial Art is all about concentration. That’s what my Sensai Virendra Lautkar used to preach me during my childhood. Somehow, I lost my grip on this aspect also. I now understand its true requirement as a martial artist. I did not waste even a single day to start Anapanasati, a technique that forms an integral part of Buddha’s Vipasyana way of Zen meditation. May be later on in life, I would attend a ten day camp of Vipasyana at Igatpuri, MP to understand its nitty-gritty’s.

I already possess shin guard with me. But my search for ankle, elbow and knee guards and sleeves is still in progress…may be once I get rid of this plaster thing, I would extend my boundaries from Gurgaon to Delhi searching them. After all proper security and precautionary measures are very important, especially when one indulges himself into extreme sports like Parkour. Real life situation would be entirely different. I will not wear these things when an application of Parkour would be required in a practical scenario…however, during practice sessions, I must not ignore them simply considering myself an undefeatable hero. We must not forget to respect the importance of taking precautions…

After seeing the above promo of Adidas Bounce series, featuring Parkour techniques, you must have been convinced about owning a proper shock absorbing shoe, especially when you are a traceur (Parkour practitioners). My online research on shock absorbing shoes revealed that XUVIA from Puma is the best Parkour shoe. However, it’s non-availability in the Indian markets disappointed me a lot. I spoke to three different Puma dealers about it, but none of them could manage to get it for me. Then I moved on to other sports brands like Nike, Adidas, Converse, Spaulding and Speedo…Fortunately, I managed to learn about Nike Shox…a technologically fit shoe for absorbing ankle shocks. I ended up searching and then buying “Nike Shox R4 Espionage” from a Nike Store near my place.

I found it very comfortable, especially on the rear side of my foot…where the ankle is located…but still, I felt something missing in my shoe…may be a heavy grip…so I continued with my research on appropriate Parkour shoes…

While watching a video on YouTube, I learnt that shocks would not only be generated on my ankle, but also on my toes…Most of the times, as a correct technique I would be using my toes to land on the ground…so quite often, my toes would also be exposed to shocks. Unfortunately, my shoe from Nike Shox R4 Espionage series can not provide me enough protection on my toes…so my search for a good grip along with toe & ankle protection continued. Again, countless number of hours were spent online to search an appropriate shoe…I successfully managed to narrow down my option of getting Adidas Bounce Series. Although, I was not so very satisfied with its gripping aspect, I had no other options but to settle for it, especially in a country which is completely ignorant to Parkour and its accessories. I carefully picked up Adidas Microbounce FH 08 series from an Adidas Store situated in a nearby mall.

Of course both the shoes costed me a hell on my pocket, but in the name of precaution, I am even ready to flip down my wallet on my martial art needs. Must tell you…my search for Puma XUVIA is still on…he he he…

I already mentioned earlier…right? Once an analyst…Alwaaaays an analyst…he he he…research then becomes religion.