Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Movies I watched in a PVR Auditorium:
- CZ12 (4 / 5)
- Table No. 21 (4.5 / 5)
- Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola (4.5 / 5)
- Inkaar (3.5 / 5)
- Race 2 (2 / 5)
- David (4 / 5)
- Vishwaroop (4 / 5)
- Special 26 ( 4 / 5)
- Murder 3 (4 / 5)
- Kai Po Che (4 / 5)
- A Good Day To Die Hard (3.5 / 5)
- Oz: The Great and Powerful
- The Attack Of 26 / 11 (3.5 / 5)
- Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster Returns (4.5 / 5)
- 3G (3 / 5)
- Olumpus Has Fallen (4.5 / 5)
- GI Joe: Retaliation (4.5 / 5)
- Himmatwalaa (0 / 5)
- Chashm-e-Baddoor (3.5 / 5)
- Oblivion (4.5 / 5)
- Commando: One Man Army (4 / 5)
- Dangerous Ishq (3.5 / 5)
- Arbitrage (3.5 / 5)
- Lawless (4 / 5)
- London Paris New-York (3.5 / 5)
- The Apparition ( 3.5 / 5)
- The Vow (3.5 / 5)
- Race (3.5 / 5)
- Skyfall ( 4 / 5)....Repeated
- Kismat, Love, Paisa, Dilli (2.5 / 5)
- Silent Hill - Revelation (3.5 / 5)
- Zero Dark Thirty (4 / 5)
- Django Unchained ( 4.5 / 5)
Monday, October 15, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Hardly anyone tasted that two kg cake... :-), which was mostly used for face pasting...
Monday, June 18, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
For me, the “depth of life” was a term coined by this beautiful lady who curiously listened to my adventures with female fraternity. She later on became a soul friend of mine with whom I not only shared almost all of my life events but also created a few with her too…In-fact, she is the one who created the very first line of this article.
Talking about keeping buoyancy, most people think that I am a carefree guy with no agenda in life. That’s because they don’t see me hooked up to anything / anyone. They perceive me as someone who believes in “no strings attached”, be it relationships or be it anything which creates gravity. A heat seeking bachelor, who flirts with everyone and longs for no one. The fact that I am not even looking a partner to get married even at an age of thirty three makes others think that I am quite influenced by western civilization. It’s been more than ten years now that I have been questioned by almost everyone about my singularity. And every time people do so, I choose to ignore them. That’s because, in my opinion, people will never understand my philosophy and even if they do, they will never associate themselves with it.
I think…howsoever wrong I may be, but I think. And therefore, I consider myself a human being. Else, I would just have been like other living beings on the planet who mostly are not capable of using their grey matter and who blindly follow the norms established by others. An ant, for that matter, will only follow the path of another ant that precedes and hence we have all of them in a single line afraid of taking paths less travelled. Anything and everything which gels with masses, has always been termed as “Normal”. For the rest, like me, they came up with the caption, “Abnormal”. To qualify as a human being, I feel one must think and act based on the prudent wisdom which gets created in one’s mind. And I am just trying my best to be a human being.
Let me take you to the territories where people’s perception reaches even before me. The first and the foremost thought that comes in the mind of people is that I am not ready to accept additional responsibility. Even closest of the close ones think so about me. Well, I accept that I am bad enough in deciphering my own self many a times, so being aware of someone else’s life associated with mine seems daunting. I do value my independence where in I enjoy being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. But how does it impair my ability to accept additional responsibility? In fact, it exponentially magnifies my potential to serve wholeheartedly. Look into my history and in every phase of my life, you would understand that I have taken additional responsibilities of many people on my own shoulders and had executed them to their satisfactory completion. Of-course, my approach towards executing responsibilities might be harsh, but I don’t pass it on just for the heck of keeping my shoulders light. Even if I accept a life time responsibility of taking care of someone who is not even a part of my existing family, I don’t think, I will surpass it just to enjoy my freedom and independence. At several instances, I have exhibited this trait of mine flawlessly and naturally. And I will do so, even till my last breath. Period.
The other thing, which most of the people think is that I have a phobia towards commitment. And believe me friends; these are the same people who despite of having partners in their life are consciously seeking others out there, just for the sake of having momentary pleasures. I really don’t know what type of commitment they expect me to have within myself. All I understand is that treachery is not just violation of faith but also betrayal of trust in any relationship. While I am extremely phobic of being treacherous to anyone, I am not at all afraid of real commitment. Unfortunately, people don’t understand the true meaning of commitment and hence end up with false relationship. Some false relationships still lasts with conscious or unconscious ignorance while others break. Most of the people think that just by tying the knot of marriage, they are free from getting stigmatized as “commitment phobic”. As if, writing the word “committed” in a relationship status is quite a fashion these days… :-)
There are other myths which people like to ponder over me. Some of them presume that I have been hurt in an earlier relationship and as such, I am finding it hard to trust again. Whereas there are quite a few, who assume that I am concentrating on my career which needs all of my energy to remain focused. Some feel that I don’t believe in relationships as they rarely work out and still there are people who like to surmise that I want to date as many women as possible in the name of finding the right one. And if that’s not enough, few joke around that I have sexual problems whereas there are a handful of people who suspect me of enjoying erotic smorgasbord with as many women as possible. I don’t even have to go into each and every detail to classify them as “BULL SHIT”. Those who know me well will easily rule them out without getting into the nitty-gritties of it.
So what is it that keeps me away from sailing deep? Haven’t I met the right woman? Well, there is a difference between a “right” woman and “always right” woman. And I have met both types of women. The former are the ones with whom I would like to be associated with, whereas the latter are the ones, no one would like to be affiliated with. During my college days, I had an alliance with this girl, with whom I used to study for my MBA Entrance preparation. We were close enough to share our thoughts and beliefs with each other and at that time, I used to feel that she is the right person for me. Moreover, we were best friends too. But somehow, I never approached her. Not because of the fear of rejection, but because in a country like India, people ultimately feel that marriage is the only final destination for a man-woman relationship. And even at that time, I never intended to get married. She moved on and found her soul mate with whom she is happily married. Though I was a bit shaken with her marriage, I never regretted my decision of not approaching her. Since then, I met with numerous women, but I never found myself close enough with any of them to consider them “right” for me. That was until now, but not anymore… :-)
Now let me dissect the reason why I don’t believe in the institution called “marriage”. But before that, let me ask one question to all my readers – what is the basic ingredient of any relationship? The answer might differ from people to people. Some might quote, faith or trust whereas others might come up with emotions like honesty, respect, forgiveness, friendship, connect, compatibility, values, patience, passion etc. And I am not at all ruling out these attributes of relationships. But for me and for few others as well, the very basic yet essential element of having any relationship is – love.
Though I value my independence narcissistically, I have always been an ardent believer of Love and Interdependency. Whereas in my opinion, “marriage” is just a matter for law, rules, courts and property rights. Marriage price or dowry, alimony and the pre-nuptial agreement, make it clear that marriage is all about contracts. Marriage has nothing to do with love. Inversely, love is independent of marriages. I am not saying that love cannot happen after / before marriage with your spouse. It certainly can…But then, marriage is not at all an absolute necessity for anyone to love someone, even if that someone may be your would to be spouse. People can still love someone even if they are not married to them. In my opinion, marriage is just a ceremony created by the society to announce the alliance between a man and a woman. What follows thereafter may or may not turn into love. Awfully, people just follow the societal norm of getting married without even trying to understand its significance in their life. I never ever went through any kind of ceremony to announce my association with my parents. Yet my parents and I love each other very much. Our relationship still stands tall, authentic and completely natural. One does not need a ceremonial announcement to blossom his / her love. As mentioned earlier, love comes, or not, by grace, of its own will and needs no human’s planning or intervention like marriage to stand alive.
I have seen several friends who got married to people whom they did not love. There are many who left people who seriously loved them, and got married to others in search of a better life or for that matter for other reasons and pressures. Several others got married yet are still searching love in their marital relationship. A handful number of people are still looking outside their marital relationship treacherously for momentary pleasures. I just pity on such people and consider myself fortunate enough to be a thinker…and of course a lover too.
For me, ever since my childhood, I have consciously declined getting married to anyone throughout my life, as I don’t feel its absolute necessity. And I would never follow societal norms just for the heck of it or just because everyone does it. At the same time, I would humbly deny the remark made by my soul friend, that I lack “depth of life”.
Friday, March 9, 2012
On February 01st, 2012 I weighed 68 Kgs. The formula for BMI calculation reveals that my ideal body weight should be between 50 to 52 Kgs. Meaning, I was overweight by 16 to 18 Kgs. Not a good sign for a person like me who value martial arts to the core of my heart. Even for an average person, it’s a sign of lethargy, unclear physical & mental priorities, lack of focus or simply said – a poor execution in life.
I realized that I don’t have time to attend martial arts classes or for that matter attending gym, but there’s nothing that was stopping me from redesigning my plate. Subsequently, I had a sprout salad that morning and a fruit salad in the evening. That kind of, relieved me from the mental tension I was going through. But that was just for a day…where as I had to make this adjustment in my daily lifestyle. When I came back home at night, the aroma of Pulao & Matar Mushrooms that my sister cooked that day hypnotically attracted me to the kitchen. And I ended up finishing all that was left in the bowl…This was nothing but a failure…he he he
The very next day I started a fresh with vegetable salad, had Nestle Dahi in the noon and ate veg sub without mayonnaise and sauces in it. And when I came back home, I was again attracted to kitchen by the aroma of vermicelli pulao… I ignited the gas stove to make it warm, regained my senses after 5 minutes, smelled the aroma of the pulao, placed the lid on the bowl, switched off the stove and went to my room only to sleep immediately before I get carried away with pulao…he he he…that was like – winning a battle that day.
The very next day, I wrote a message to my sister that she should not cook food for me and should consume everything she cooks for herself. Well, well, well…my sister is my sister…when I came back home, there were few aaloo ke paraathe kept in the kitchen…along with a message – “Dieting is not healthy, if you want to lose weight, do it through exercise”…I was extremely irritated by the message but was still left spellbound by the parathas…nonetheless to mention, it was a failure that day too…
And then started a battle between me and my poor attitude of kneeling down against the dishes cooked by my sister…sometimes, I won and mostly I lost. Rather I should put it this way – mostly, I used to win during the day and lose at night when I entered my home…the cycle continued for about a month and one fine day one of my direct reportee in my office noticed that I lost a few centimeters of fats on my belly. On March 01st, 2012, I weighed 65 Kgs unexpectedly...I lost 3 Kgs in a month’s time…that was the AHA moment for me which charged me up again...
I was motivated for more… The challenge was to find time…I had no clue when will I do it but had a vague idea that I can do it after returning from office at 2 am in the dark…I pulled my track suite the very next day and started jogging. After about 5 minutes of jogging, unexpectedly I was chased by a dog who got suspicious as to why am I running in the dark…Consequently I had to rush back home in a jet speed. I took a breath of relief the moment I shut the door and decided not to jog in the night anymore. The very next weekend, I bought an exercise kit and thought to start burning calories at home itself, how so ever small in number they might be. But then while exercising at home; I broke a few items due to lack of spatial awareness, especially a glass show piece, a fancy alarm watch and a ceramic flower pot that too, in just a week’s time. Funny, isn’t it?
Yesterday, I noticed I lost a few more inches around my belly which made me a super happy man…but I was not sure if it appears only to me or to others as well…so I shot a few photographs of mine, and sent it to my brother and 3 close friends. The fact that all of them either use a blackberry or an iPhone, made me sure that I would get a reply immediately…moreover, it was a HOLI-day as well…so I eagerly waited for their responses. However, none of them responded. By evening, I was upset and restless, partly because of hunger and partly because no one responded. I slept at 7 in the evening to avoid the feeling of hunger which weakens me from inside. And when I woke up, I actually woke up – meaning, that short nap opened my eyes…I realized, that losing weight is MY goal and it does not matter to others. Forget about acknowledging or giving feedback, others won’t even pay attention. I smiled, recollected my narcissism and went on for a 20 minute jog around my place…
While writing this post, I now have a better understanding that reconciling BMI is more of a mental fight rather than dealing with physical exercises. It starts with mind and if it has to, it ends in the mind as well.
- Choosing sprouts & fruits over pulaos & parathas
- Dealing with hunger throughout the day
- Controlling your emotions while watching others, relishing mouthwatering food
- Being regular with exercises
- Protecting ourselves from street dogs while jogging at night
- Avoiding the emotions of a caring sister / mother
- Not getting boggled by people who can’t even find a minute to align themselves to my goals
See – everything listed above are mind games, and one really has to win each of it every day…
And it’s not impossible. All one needs is a bit of VANITY…and that’s fair…he he he
Next December when I would be meeting my Sensai in Nagpur, I won’t give him the doors to shut on me…Rather; I would take him to Japanese Garden which happens to be my Dojo in Nagpur, and would have a nice sparring with him…Time for a jog now… J
Sunday, January 1, 2012
- Sherlock Holmes - A Game Of Shadows (4 / 5)
- Players (3 / 5)
- Chalees Chaurasi (2 / 5)
- Underworld - Awakening 3D (3 / 5)
- Coriolanus (3 / 5)
- Agneepath (3.5 /5)
- Haywire (3 / 5)
- Chronicles (3 / 5)
- The Descendants (4 / 5)
- War Horse (4.5 / 5)
- Ek Mai Aur Ek Tu (2.5 / 5)
- Ek Mai Aur Ek Tu (2.5 / 5) Repeated
- Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance (3 / 5)
- The Artist (4.5 / 5)
- Pan Singh Tomar (5 /5)
- John Carter (2.5 / 5)
- Kahaani (4 / 5)
- This Means War (4 / 5)
- The Iron Lady (4 / 5)
- Agent Vinod (3.5 / 5)
- Blood Money (3 / 5)
- Wrath Of The Titans (3.5 / 5)
- The Hunger Games (4.5 / 5)
- Battleship (3.5 / 5)
- Houseful 2 (2 / 5)
- Hate Story (3 / 5)
- Avengers (4.5 / 5)
- Vicky Donor (4 / 5)
- Jannat 2 (3 / 5)
- Tezzz (3 / 5)
- Ishaqzaade (3.5 / 5)
- Department (3 / 5)
- Men In Black 3 - 3D (4 / 5)
- Rowdy Rathore (1.5 / 5)
- Snow White & The Huntsman (3 / 5)
- Prometheus (4 / 5)
- Ferrari Ki Sawari (3.5 / 5)
- Shanghai (3 / 5)
- Gangs Of Wassepur (4.5 / 5)
- Teri Meri Kahaani (2.5 / 5)
- The Amazing Spiderman (3 / 5)
- Bol Bachchan (2.5 / 5)
- Abraham Lincoln : Vampire Hunter (3.5 / 5)
- Cocktail (3 / 5)
- The Dark Night Rises (4.5 / 5)
- Kya Super Cool Hai Hum (3.5 / 5)
- Ice Age 4 (3.5 / 5)
- Jism 2 (2.5 / 5)
- Total Recall (3 / 5)
- Bourne Legacy (3 / 5)
- Gangs Of Wassepur 2 (4 / 5)
- Ek Tha Tiger (3 / 5)
- The Expendables 2 (4 / 5)
- Finding Nemo 3D (3.5 / 5)
- Shark Nights 3D (2.5 / 5)
- Raaz 3D (3.5 / 5)
- Barfi (4.5 / 5)
- Dredd 3D (3 / 5)
- Heroine (3.5 / 5)
- Resident Evil: Retribution (4 / 5)
- English Vinglish (4.5 / 5)
- The Possession (4 /5)
- Makkhi (4 / 5)
- Taken 2 (3.5 / 5)
- Bhoot Returns (3.5 / 5)
- Looper (4 / 5)
- Premium Rush (3.5 / 5)
- Student Of The Year (3 / 5)
- Chakravyuh (4 / 5)
- Cloud Atlas (4.5 / 5)
- 1920: Evil Returns (3.5 / 5)
- Skyfall (4 / 5)
- Luv Shuv Te Chicken Khurana (3 / 5)
- Jab Tak Hai Jaan (4 / 5)
- Son Of Sardar (1 / 5)
- Life Of Pie 3D (4.5 / 5)
- Talaash (4 / 5)
- Khiladi 786 (1 / 5)
- The Hobbit 3D (3 / 5)
- Dabangg 2 (2 / 5)
- Jack Reacher (4 / 5)
- Aarakshan (4.5 / 5)
- C U At 9 (2 / 5)
- Another Earth (3 / 5)
- One Day (4 / 5)
- Bad Teacher (2.5 / 5)
- The Insider (4.5 / 5)
- Reel Steel (3 / 5)
- The Smurfs (2.5 / 5)
- The Grudge (4 / 5)
- The Grudge 2 (3 / 5)
- The Grudge 3 (3 / 5)
- The Last House On The Left (4 / 5)
- The Devil's Advocate (4 / 5)
- Winter's Bones (3.5 / 5)
- Proof Of Life (4 / 5)
- My Bloody Valentine (4 / 5)
- Wolf Creek (3.5 / 5)
- House of Wax (2.5 / 5)
- The Amityville Horror (3.5 /5)
- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (4 / 5)
- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (4 / 5)
- Dawn Of The Dead (4 / 5)
- The Fighter (3.5 / 5)
- Vanilla Sky (4 / 5)
- Sucker Punch (4 / 5)
- Super 8 (3.5 / 5)
- Season Of The Witch (3.5 / 5)
- The Way Back (4.5 / 5)
- Catch 44 (3 / 5)
- Thor (4 / 5) Repeated
- Shor In The City (4 / 5)
- The Company Men (4 / 5)
- Ghajini (4 / 5)
- Just Go With It (2.5 / 5)
- Contraband (3.5 / 5)
- Man On A Ledge (4.5 / 5)
- Striker (3.5 / 5)
- Ghutan (1 / 5)
- Ghost (2 / 5)
- Perfect Sense (3 / 5)
- Rockstar (5 / 5) .......Repeated
- Rockstar (5 / 5) .......Repeated
- Love Aajkal (5 / 5)....Repeated
- Tere Naal Love Ho Gayaa (2.5 / 5)
- Jodi Breakers (2 / 5)
- Force (4 / 5)
- Azaan (3.5 / 5)
- 17 Again (2.5 / 5)
- Batman Begins (4 / 5)......Repeated
- The Dark Knight (5 / 5).....Repeated
- Kya Cool Hai Hum (2.5 / 5)
- Rakhtacharitra 2 (3.5 / 5)
- Rascals (1 / 5)
- Buried (4 / 5)
- Bourne Identity (4.5 / 5).......Repeated
- Bourne Supremacy (4.5 / 5).......Repeated
- Bourne Ultimatum (4.5 / 5).......Repeated
- Phhirrr (3 / 5)
- Mujhse Fraaaandship Karoge (3.5 / 5)
- Sadda Adda (3 / 5)
- Patiyala House (3.5 / 5)
- Love Breakups Zindagi (3.5 / 5)
- Pappu Can't Dance Sala (3 / 5)
- Krishnaa (3 / 5)
- 2012 (4 / 5)......Repeated
- Woman In Black (4 / 5)
- Safe House (4 / 5)
- Silent House (3 / 5)
- The Cabin In The Woods (4 / 5)
- Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (3.5 / 5)
- The Raven (3 /5)
- American Beauty (3 / 5)
- Rakshak (3.5 / 5)
- Vinashak (4 / 5)
- Khiladi 420 (2 / 5)
- The Pact (3.5 / 5)
- 1920 (4.5 / 5)
- Haunted (4 / 5)
- Anth (3 / 5)
- The Pact (3.5 / 5)
- Grave Encounters (3 / 5)
- The Ward (3 / 5)
- Apollo 18 (3.5 / 5)
- In Time (4 / 5)
- Faces In The Crowd ( 3.5 / 5)
- Killer Elite (4.5 / 5)
- 247 Degree Fahrenheit (2 /5)
- Chained (3.5 / 5)
- The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (3 / 5)
- Piranha 3DD (2.5 / 5)
- The Devil Seed (3 / 5)
- Fertile Ground (4 / 5)
- No Tell Motel (3 / 5)
- The Devil's Rock (2.5 / 5)
- Red State (2.5 / 5)
- Gone (4 / 5)
- Let Me In (5 / 5)
Monday, April 18, 2011
DISTRESSED…that’s how I describe myself in one word these days. With an unstable job, directionless career and confusing twists and turns that my professional life is taking I was completely clueless of the worldly happenings. As if the world meant nothing to me. Who knew, someone from this world only, was about to show me a world in itself?
Someone – Good afternoon Sir...Am I speaking to Rishi Sir?
Me – Yes, whose this?
Someone – Sir, this is Jitender...what happened Sir…it’s such a long time that you haven’t visited our store…is everything fine?
Me – Oh Jitenderrrrr…yeah I was a bit busy yaar…
Jitender – Sir infact I tried to reach you several times in the past 3 weeks but your cell was not reachable…
Me – Oh ok…I was out of India yaar…
Jitender – Sir, you remember few weeks ago, you placed an order at our store for a Caruso & a Raffaello…we have got the Caruso for you and were trying to reach you since a very long time… just thought to call you last time before placing it for another sale…
Me – Oh yes, I remember… what about Raffaello?
Jitender – We have already placed an indent for that and will be getting it in next two weeks…
Me – Fine… I will come and buy it in the next hour…
I took my car and drove to the mall…
Consciousness and loyalty comes automatically if you are in love…even if the subject of your love is a brand. That’s what is true in my case at least. The moment I entered the store, I was greeted by Jitender. He knows me quite well as I have been visiting his store quite frequently as a loyal customer since past 4 years…
Jitender – Sir you are lucky to have this Caruso as someone wanted to buy it today. I just realized that it was ordered for you and so I held it for a while to call you. Luckily, this time you picked my call. Otherwise it would have gone to that customer.
Me – Well, good things cost time…and the time was just right for me today…so yes, I am lucky to have it…he he he
Jitender – Nice line Sir…good things cost time…I used to think it costs only money…seems you are a writer too…
Me – Oh don’t you know I am a blogger as well? But this line isn’t mine…I got it yesterday from a close friend in her SMS…anyways; I am slightly pushed with time…so let’s hurry up…
Jitender – Ok Sir…just give me a minute; I will bring that Caruso for you…
Me – Sure…meanwhile, do you have anything else in your new collection…
Jitender – We have recently got a few Dolcettos, but all of them are dark…
Me – No no no…leave it then…just show me the Caruso only…
Jitender brought the Caruso and held it in his hands to display it to me. He was standing near the entrance and I was more towards the inner side of the store…actually he wanted to show me the piece in a fair light…for its glossy effect.
Jitender – Sir I really like your choice…especially the way you choose light colors…see how bright this one is looking.
Me – Wowwwwwwww…so beauuuuuuuutiful…hooooooooooooo
Jitender (moving towards me) – I told you Sir…I am sure; it's a perfect match for you…
Me – Wait. Just go over there and show it to me once more…the way you just did it…
Jitender – Ok…this way, right Sir?
Me – Hold it there itself… Wowwwwwwww … I haven’t seen such a beauty since a very long time…
Jitender – Exactly Sir…especially, the light shade of purple with a mix of blue makes it more beautiful, isn’t it Sir?
Me – Hmmmmmmm…just wait there itself for some more time…
Jitender (turning back) – I thinkkkkk …you are looking at something else, prrrrrrrrrobably those two Chinkeys in black and white, in the opposite store…
Me – Two Chinkeys? There is only one…the other one doesn’t seem to be a Chinkey.
Jitender – Well Sir, we work here so we know, both of them are Chinkeys…
Me – Whatever, the other one is so beautiful…what’s her name?
Jitender – We don’t know her name…it’s not too long for them to be here… Even my boss is after her…
Me – Tell your boss to be happy with his wife and kiddos…
Jitender – He he he…Thank God, he is not here today…Do you want me to get you her name and other details? She won’t mind talking to me as our stores are opposite to each other…
Me – Nopes, leave it…I just want you to fetch me the Raffaello as soon as possible.
Jitender – Ok Sir…you really have a very nice choice…
Me – Yeah! I know…you are not referring to the Raffaello or Caruso right now…isn’t it?
Jitender – He he he…will you pay by card or cash?
Me – Card please.
While Jitender was swiping my card, I could not stop myself peeping out; in the opposite store…I was completely mesmerized by the sophisticated persona that girl was carrying. She was attending a customer and I was attending her. Her grace made the entire store look so pinkish as if it was an exotic location. I felt completely captivated by her flashy splendor. As I said, beauty in its pristine form comes with gravity. And I gradually started feeling the effects of magnetism from the one, whom I felt was not a Chinkey…he he he
Jitender – Sir, just a suggestion, if you like something, go for it…that’s how I got my girl
Me – Yaar you are such a handsome guy, just like the movie star Jitender…he he he…you will any which ways manage to get a girl…he he he
Jitender – Chalo Sir…next time you will come for Raffaello, I will give you her details…promise…
Me – He he he…why are you so determined to hook me with her? I will still be a loyal customer even if you don’t do that…
Jitender – This is not for the sale of our store Sir…I just want someone to suite you, especially when you wear the kind of attire you shop from our store…he he he
Me – and why do you think she would suite me and my attire?
Jitender – that’s something which we will tell you naa Sir…
Me (sarcastically) – The question here is – will I suite her and her attire?
Jitender (handing over the carry bag) – We would make the match accordingly…he he he…your shirt Sir…
Me – Can you do me a favor? Just join some match making company and leave this job for me…I will do the needful for myself…he he he…especially after seeing this visual delight working in the opposite store, I would love to work in your store…he he he
Jitender – He he he…You won’t like to work under my khadoos boss…
Me – Ahh, you don’t know how khadoos every bosses are these days…even my team members call me the same…he he he…anyways, call me once you get the Raffaello…
Jitender – Sure Sir…have a nice day…
Me – You too…Bubye
I stepped out of the Zodiac Store… only to learn that the store, in which I was peeping in, was a kids wear store called Monnalisa…suddenly, something struck my mind, just like a lightening…and I was whimsical about everything. The entire episode seemed quite melodramatic to me. But then, dramas do happen in real life too…isn’t it? Having a Mona-Lisa smile on my face, I moved on…completely fickled by this frivolous, charismatic and an unplanned encounter with this moonly beauty (who was NOT a Chinkey…he he he).
Visions of beauty can also haunt a person sometimes…he he he…and believe me, they are more disturbing than nightmares…because they come with everlasting hangover…quite un-diminishing sometimes. May be that’s the reason, I could not sleep that night.
Jitender – Sir? Is there are problem with the shirt you bought yesterday?
Me – Oh No! It was perfect. However, you did not show me those Dolcettos yesterday…huh!
Jitender – But you don’t wear dark colored shirts.
Me – What’s the harm in checking them out for Friday dressing? He he he
Jitender – Ohhhhhhh! I got it Sir…I will show you the Dolcettos, exaaaactly the way I showed you the Caruso yesterday…I hope I am not wrong…
Me – Well, you are super intelligent. Do that for me please…he he he
For next half an hour, both me and Jitender got indulged in checking out various Dolcettos from every possible angle so as to get her visioned in between…he he he…He was trying hard to display shirts on himself just like salesmen of saris do…he he he…And I was rejecting all the shirts so that he can get another one for the display…that’s how we played for about half an hour…just to get a few glimpses of the exquisite female at Monnalisa…This time, she was marking something on a packet kept on a large white table with a black glass on it. At the same time, she was talking to the other Chinkey girl. Suddenly, both of them had an outburst of laughter…and I was once again bewitched by her glitz and glare. I think they might have cracked a joke. Her giggles had sorcery on me, as if I was possessed by her scintillating enchantment. She touched my soul from within and I suddenly realized that I had one...
Jitender – Sir, by tomorrow, I will fetch you her name & contact number...else if you want, we can go speak to her right now…
Me – Hello…don’t be mad…I don’t want any of her details…I just came here to check out the Dolcettos…he he he
Jitender – Sir…if you won’t put yourself forward, how will things move on then?
Me – Probably, the best way to move on is to move with a distance…so let it be that ways…
Jitender – Sir…don’t get yourself into a serious relationship…just keep it as a friendship…
Me – Buddy, you can’t even be a friend unless you are serious about friendship too…he he he…and why are we assuming that she would even talk?
Jitender – Sir, leave it on me naa…I will handle it…
Me – Listen…don’t do anything…leave it as it is…there is a very thin line of difference between handling and manhandling…and both you and me are man…possibility of manhandling is greater with us…he he he…
Jitender – As you say writer Sir…you always play with words…he he he
Me – And I am good with that dark purple Dolcetto…let’s finalize that
Jitender – Sir, are you really buying this shirt? I mean, I have never seen you buying casual colored shirts…
Me – I wasn’t here for that girl but for the Dolcetto…people change and so do their preferences…he he he
Jitender – he he he…you are really one of your own kinds…card or cash?
Me – Card only…that ways I will get more time for action, isn’t it?
Jitender – Yes…you are right…he he he
For the other two days, I got quite busy at my newly rented house, setting up inverter, Dish tv connection, Airtel broadband and so on and so froth…Those were the busiest days of March as I had to simultaneously manage a few urgent work at my office too due to fiscal year closing. Whatever I was indulged into, I always had her angelic image in my mind…And at the same time, there was a constant sense of awareness that angels happen only to Gods…we all are born with a God and a Devil within ourselves…In the course of struggle called life, most of the times the Devil takes a front seat and we become like him…Darkness surrounds us and distorts the very meaning of our existence. It makes us look ugly (read bald & obese too in my case…he he he). It makes us feel lethargic. It takes us away from our goals, aspirations and well being. It fills within ourselves pessimism, depression and hatred, till the time we destroy ourselves gradually. And the net effect of all these, somehow takes us away from our own divineness. That’s how we loose beauty and that’s how angels don’t touch our lives…Quite philosophical, yet a true eye opener. And if it is true, then why should we allow the Devil to be on the front seat? Why not strive hard to repair what ever we lost to him and try to regain it…
Jitender – Which shirts do you want today Sir? Your Raffaello is yet to come in our store…
Me – Do you have something in Vicenza?
Jitender – Vicenza is all about ties and not shirts.
Me – I know, but you sold me double cuff shirts without cufflinks and ties. How will I wear those shirts?
Jitender – Sir, as far as I remember, you already bought a pair of cufflinks a few months ago…so I did not ask for it. Moreover, you only told me that you don’t wear ties in your office.
Me – Well we do sometimes, especially during client visits.
Jitender – Sirji, what are you doing? Why are you wasting your money?
Me – He he he…that’s not a wastage but investing?
Jitender – but what’s the return?
Me – Not all investments reap return buddy. Besides, your Caruso and Vicenza might help me strike a deal with my clients…he he he
Jitender – Sirji, try to strike a deal with this store manager first…
Me – Is she a store manager? Wow…
Jitender – I have 4 years of work experience and I am still a customer care associate. Anyways, leave it…Are you sure you want to check those ties and cufflinks.
Me – Yes. I am 100% sure…go ahead…and show me only the best ones…the way you did for those shirts…he he he
Jitender – Ok Sir…waise she is not a Chinkey…yesterday only I got to know…
Me – I told you she is not…by the way, what else did you get to know?
Jitender – Sirji just wait for a few days…I will give you her address, phone number and her birthday too…he he he
Me – And what will I do with those things?
Jitender – Send some flowers, cakes and gifts to her on her birthday…learn to handle females Sirji…
Me – He he he…I am not a Romeo…neither is she my Juliet…why should I even bother?
Jitender – because if you won’t bother today, tomorrow she might walk away with some other Romeo…
Me – He he he…You are a complete comedian, you know that…who knows, she might already have a Romeo in her life…he he he
Jitender – Then you should be a Shahrukh Khan of Darr…Remember – I love you KKKKKKKKiran…
Me – He he he…You really are a joker if you like stammering Shahrukh Khan…he he he…and her name is also not Kiran…
Jitender – How do you know that?
Me – I mean, I am just guessing…he he he…not every girl is Kiran…
Jitender – And you don’t buy shirts, ties and cufflinks for every girl…isn’t it? And that too thrice in one week…he he he
Me – Hello, those are for my use…ok…girls don’t wear shirts, ties and cufflinks…he he he…now leave this debate and show me what I came here for…he he he
After trying every permutations and combinations of watching ties and cufflinks for about half an hour, right in front of the entrance door to re-vision up the girl in the opposite store, I settled for a pair of tie and rhodium cufflinks. While Jitender was processing my card payment, I was tempted again to collect a few glitters of her twinkling elegance. Her glamour had such a razzle dazzle effect on me that I literally felt healing and rejuvenating from chronic stress. That’s why I won’t mind calling her a Stress Buster.
Jitender – Sirji, we have a Zodiac Store in the City Center mall as well...But I know you won’t go there…
Me – I liked that white table with a black glass on it, in that opposite store…and that’s what makes me visit your store frequently…he he he
Jitender – Common Sir…you are not visiting our store just for that table…he he he
Me – Yeah…there is more to it. I prefer DT Mega Mall to any other mall as it’s closer to my place…he he he. And listen, I will be very busy with my office for coming one or two weeks. But do call me once you have the Raffaello in store…Ok?
Jitender (winking) – Sure Sir…you have a nice day…and keep yourself extremely busy with work…he he he…bye
Well...you don’t notice the passage of time, especially if you keep yourself really busy. It’s been more than two weeks that kept me engaged with worldly things. In other words, it’s been more than 15 days that I witnessed her beaming radiance. Moreover, I did not get any call from Jitender too, for the Raffaello I ordered. So I thought it’s a pretty good time to visit the mall and drown myself once again in the ocean of beauty. While I was driving, I was simultaneously thinking about my last visit where in Jitender talked about fetching me her details so as to do a real time action on her birthday. I was quite thrilled with his idea, though I already told him not to progress with it as I inhibited that she may not like it.
Well, sometimes trespassing inhibitions lead you to an altogether different world.
And this time, I purposefully wanted to be in a different world. After all what's the harm in meeting with new people. Who knows, you may end up creating memories by spending quality time together. Who knows, you might end up finding a friend at least. And if it doesn't work out, life always has a tendency to move on. With those conflicting yet arresting thoughts in my mind, I started something which I am extremely good at - PLANNING…he he he. Till the time I reached the parking lot of the mall, I had everything in my mind. The gift, the flowers, the cake and the way I should introduce myself…he he he…of-course Jitender was also in the whole plan. He he he…
With great excitement, I entered the mall as if I was hypnotized to move towards Monnalisa. All of a sudden, this hypnotism turned into hysteria. I could not see her in the store. What the hell? There was some other dusky female with the Chinkey sales girl. Of course, the Chinkey sales girl was the same whom I saw with the beautiful store manager. I thought she might be absent for work today. But then, why was she replaced by some other dusky girl? To get this question answered from Jitender, I entered the Zodiac Store. Unexpectedly, I was greeted by some other guy who was not Jitender…
Guy – Good afternoon Sir. How can I help you?
Me – Hello. I ordered a cream Raffaello sometime ago and was supposed to get a call from you guys. Just wanted to check the status of my order.
Guy – Order? We have all the shades & sizes of Raffaellos since past two months. But to know which specific shade & size you ordered may I have your name and contact number Sir?
Me – I am Rishi Gajbhiye and my contact number is 9811815905.
Guy – Sir, we do have your record in our database, but then it’s not showing any pending order for you.
Me – What? You guys might be witnessing some IT problems. You can call Jitender. He knows me very well and he only took my order.
Guy – Jitender? He doesn’t work here anymore. You might have placed your order in January I suppose.
Me – Yeah! That was the last week of January only. But Jitender reconfirmed my order two weeks ago as well. Why did he leave his job?
Guy – I don’t know Sir. But I can show you all the shades of the Raffaello we have got.
Me – Wait. When did Jitender leave this job? I just met him two weeks ago here only.
Guy – Two weeks ago? That’s not possible Sir. He left his job sometime in the first week of February itself. Moreover, he is not in Gurgaon also. He shifted to Bangalore and that’s all I know about him.
Me – February? No…that’s not possible. I was here two weeks ago. He sold me a Caruso, a Dolcetto, a pair of cufflinks and a tie.
Guy (looking at the computer) – The last time you purchased a shirt from our store was in December 2010. Since then you never purchased anything from our store. We maintain records of all our transactions.
Me – Well, you might have certainly missed mine then.
Guy – Did you pay in cash or card?
Me – I paid using my card.
Guy – What’s the last 4 digits of your card number Sir?
Me – 4356
Guy – Well the computer does not show any transactions in past two months with your card ending with 4356.
Me – You must be joking. Can I speak to your boss?
Boss (moving out from the store room) – Sir I was listening to your conversation from inside. Jitender actually left our store in February itself. This sales guy is the replacement of Jitender. And Jitender did not return to our store since the time he left. Plus, we don’t have any IT related problems with the computers in our store. Every transaction is well captured with all the relevant details. You might have visited some other store.
Me – No…it was this store only. I don’t know what’s going on. What about my order for Raffaello?
Boss – Sir, we have all the shades and sizes of Raffaello in our store since past two months. Why will we be taking orders for the products we already have in our store? I will be more than happy to show them to you right now.
Me – Wait Wait. Where is that beautiful girl in the opposite store?
Boss – Beautiful girl? Which girl?
Me (irritatingly) – the one, whom you were after…
Boss (hesitatingly) – Meeeee? S..sSir…I am, I am a married man. I don’t see girls anymore…and there are just these two girls in the opposite store.
Guy – Sir, I think you are not well. You need medical help.
Boss – Probably a psychiatric help.
Me – ok leave it. I think you guys are making me mad. Before I loose my temper, just show me the Raffaello and let’s be done with it.
With a puzzled soul, I picked a cream Raffaello in just two minutes and made the payment through my card.
Boss – Sir you can see, your payment for Raffaello is showing in our computer.
I did not say anything. I was completely numb. There are so many questions unanswered till date. The first being - Am I normal? Or have I experienced something paranormal? Whatever it be I really miss those soul soothing conversations with Jitender who was the only person who could have answered all my questions. I visited the mall thrice in the past four days and I could just see a white table with a black glass on it at Monnalisa. Of-course, a dusky and a chinkey sales girl still work there.
Truly, sometimes trespassing inhibitions lead you to an altogether different world.
And in my world, today I woke up early in the morning. I jogged for about 45 minutes continuously. Picked up practicing the side flip that I left 4 months ago during my martial arts workout. Studied the unread “Risk Analysis” chapter of my course curriculum. Got lots of appreciation in my office for my shirt picking skills as I wore my Caruso today for the first time. Spoke to my boss for accepting a bigger role in my office. And when my mom asked why I wanted to be on a zero oil food to reduce weight effective today only, I replied – “Mom today is April 18th. As per Dad, it’s Hanuman Jayanti (Birthday) today. We generally start all good things on auspicious days like this one to force our devil to take a back seat”…he he he
My mom did not understand my God vs. Devil theory. Neither did I make her understand that it’s nothing but the PUSH effect of the GRAVITY, which I was talking about earlier.
Those who really want to know the real reason why I woke up early today? I just have one answer…
I still get haunted by the visions of beauty, most of the times I sleep…he he he
Friday, December 24, 2010
Me – "Goodmorning."
Airhostess – "Sir you look sweaty. Would you like to remove your jacket please?"
Me – "I am scared. I hope you only want me to remove my jacket, don’t you?"
Airhostess – "only the jacket sir. (with a witchy smile) You won’t need it inside the plane. It’s quite hot, out here."
Me – (with a devilish expression) "Not yet. But I think I should go by your word. May be things might turn out hot then…he he he"
Airhostess – "You have a nice sense of humor sir…"
Me – "Well, you have a nice ammmmmm...well, everything…"
Airhostess – (gazed with a little superciliously vampire looks) "Your jacket please?"
Me – "I am all yours" (handed over my jacket).
Airhostess – "Enjoy your flight sir" (She kept my jacket in the overhead luggage shelf, smiled and moved on)
Me – "Well, I just did! Thanks"
How flirtatious, isn’t it? Well that’s not me, even outside my professional world. I just could not believe I did that…he he he…Next few minutes went into settling myself in the window seat. I never like to sit on window seats as it kind of blocks you for the entire journey. If D E F be the sequence of the seat, I would be sitting on F (next to window), the aisle seat D was occupied by a guy who appeared to be very sleepy. And E, which was in between both of us was still vacant. That’s a very pessimistic situation for single men like me, isn’t it? He he he…So I had to be happy with the airhostesses only. And then happened a magic. A very fair and good looking girl appeared along with her mom and requested the sleepy person to move to a seat back to us so that both of them could sit closer. But the sleepy guy refused for an unknown reason. Obviously, me being a gentleman had no option but to forgo the opportunity and offer my seat to her mom. Astonishingly her mom did not accept my offer as she wanted an aisle seat but thanked me for my kindness. That’s how it worked and the girl sat next to me and I had no option but to forget the airhostess for a while. My first impression on this two member family was good. But there was a long silence after that which was mainly due to India centric approach to interact with a complete stranger with an opposite sex.
Airhostess – "Sir, as a standard operating procedure, let me tell you that you are sitting next to the emergency exit door. This door weighs 15 kgs and I would like to confirm that in case of emergency, you would be able to uplift this door. If not, we will accommodate you to some other seat."
Me – "What is your weight?"
Airhostess – "Excuse me. I didn’t get you sir."
Me – (again with a devilish expression) "Well, assuming you are heavier than this 15 kg door, I can give a live demo, that I can lift you even during a non emergency situation."
Airhostess – (again with a witchy smile) "I will take it as a yes then."
Me – "All-righty, get ready for a live demo then…"
Airhostess – "No no, it’s ok. The “yes” was for my confirmation that you can lift the emergency exit door."
Me – "Don’t you think, your “yes” is kind of “de-motivating” for me…"
Airhostess – "Like I said before, you have a nice sense of humor sir…enjoy your flight."
Me – "I again did. He he he…and I hope you would come up with a few more standard operating procedures to quote…"
Airhostess – (vivaciously nodding her head with the most witchy smile) "Certainly sir…there is one more to demonstrate."
The moment the airhostess moved on, the girl sitting next to me said – That was exciting.
Me – "Ah, just my way of appreciating beauty"
Girl - "Oh! So you appreciate beauty too…"
Me – "Don’t worry, your turn will also come. And, that’s another way of telling you that you are beautiful."
Girl’s Mom (from behind) – "She is my daughter and she really is beautiful."
Girl – (exhibiting shyness) "Mom, please…"
Girl’s Mom – "What? You are, my dear. And I won’t mind someone like this gentleman appreciating it. Very few people do it the way we like it. (Looking at me) Plus, I must appreciate the kindness by which he himself offered his seat. (Taunting the sleepy guy) Otherwise, there are people who just can’t understand others situation."
Now that was a tricky situation wherein I had to feel shy. I said – "thanks Aunty."
After a minute of silence, the girl’s Mom touched my shoulder from behind – "Did she ask you the time?"
Me – "No"
Girl’s Mom – "She will. That’s her way of breaking the ice with strangers…he he he"
Girl – "Mom please. What are you doing?"
Girl’s Mom – "Ok ok, I am sorry beta. You continue…"
Me – (addressing the girl) "Well, now you won’t ask me time. Hai naa?"
Girl – "No. I would look foolish if I do so. But you have a nice watch. Can I see it?"
Me – "Sure. Take a look."
Girl – "It really looks nice. And it’s Tissot. Wow…and I really like your perfume too. Which one is it?"
Me – "Oh! That’s Hugo Boss."
Girl – "Great. I will buy it too. It’s really pleasing."
Me – "Make sure, you buy the ladies one. I am using the men perfume. Both are different with N number of varieties…he he he"
Girl – "Very smart. I am not that dumb."
Me – "Yeah! I thought so…"
Girl – "What? Dumb."
Me – "No. That you have brains too."
Girl’s Mom (from behind) – "See its beauty with brains beta."
Girl – "Mom please. You find someone else next to you naa. And don’t listen to our conversation. You are spoiling it."
Girl’s Mom – "Sorry beta. (winking one of her eyes at me) You carry on…he he he. I will sleep a while."
Now, this was the first time when I faced a situation like this where in I had parental permission to get along with her daughter. Obviously, the mother daughter duo, were from a well to do & an educated family which incidentally were quite frank with each other too. For the next 15-20 minutes, she got engaged with a GoAir magazine and so I had to put my iPod on. Suddenly, it appeared to me that she was asking something to me which I could not listen due to the loud music. So I paused the song, and looked at her.
Girl – "Which song is it? I haven’t heard it earlier. But it’s really rhythmic."
Me – "Don’t tell me that you could listen to it even when you are not wearing the earphones."
Girl – "Listen, for past half an hour you have been listening to only one song. Tujhko jo payaa to jeena aaya…And I very well know that you were playing it repeatedly in full sound only to catch my attention."
Me – "Bingo! You got it! Actually it’s quite situational with the lyrics – Ab ye lamha thehar jaaye, tham jaaye, bus jaaye, hum dono ke darmiyaa…You see…"
Girl – "Really, and what’s so situational about it?"
Me – "Well, your Mom can very well explain it. Shall I ask her to do so…"
Girl – "Noooo…Leave it."
Me – "Ok. And believe me, I have not heard this song with so much depth earlier…infact this is the first time I am listening to it…earlier I listened to it while watching the movie, but it did not have such an impact."
Girl – "And you want me to believe that?"
Me – "No! All I want you to do is to listen to this song…"
Girl – "You know what? Actually, I myself was about to ask for your iPod, if you don’t mind."
Me – "Oh Sure! I certainly can’t afford to have a mind which would mind…he he he…all yours"
I selected the song and handed my iPod to her. She closed her eyes and started listening to the song. After about 3 to 4 minutes, she asked me how to repeat the song and when I told her about it, she again closed her eyes. After repeatedly listening to it thrice, she handed over the iPod to me.
Girl – "Wow…this was amazing. I don’t really listen to Hindi music, but I really want to have it in my collection. What’s the name of the album?"
Me – "Crook: It’s good to be bad."
Girl – "I am sorry, what was that?"
Me – "Well the name of the album is – Crook. And it’s caption is – It’s good to be bad."
Girl – "Really?"
Me – "Yes, that’s what the name is…"
Girl – "Now I get it how it is so situational…huh…(pointing her index finger at me) Crook, isn’t it?"
Me – "He he he…But as per your Mom, I’m a gentleman and not a crook."
Girl – "And that’s the whole problem naa yaar…"
Me – "Well, most of the problems get turned into opportunities…and I am quite an oppor tu nistic guy."
Airhostess – "Sorry for the interruption mam. We are serving. Would you like to have something?"
Girl – "No thanks."
Airhostess – "Would you like to have something sir?"
Me – "Well. That really depends on what all are you serving?"
Airhostess – "You can check the menu card. (putting forward the menu card)"
Me – "I really don’t want to go through that puzzle. (I did not accept the menu card). Instead, why don’t you offer me something…jjjjjuicy" (devilish smile was on my entire face).
Girl – "God! You are terrific."
Airhostess – "Sir, we have a mix of orange & pineapple juice."
Me – (again with a naughty smile) "Anything else?"
Airhostess – "Sorry sir. We just have a mix of orange & pineapple juice."
Me – "I am really disappointed. But just wait for a second."
I turned myself to the girl besides me.
Me – "Hey, listen. Can I buy you a drink? A can of juice may be. That’s what they have…"
Girl – "I seriously admire your guts man. You are openly flirting with the airhostess in front of me and then also want to buy me a drink."
Me – "Well, it’s just good to be bad. (I exclaimed) And common, I did not flirt with her, did I?" (I turned myself to the airhostess for an informal help and nodded my head)
Airhostess – (got the point) (smiled vivaciously) (addressed the girl) "I already mentioned twice to him. Sir has a good sense of humor."
Me – "Thank You! Now you won my heart."
Girl – "Wow…you really are a Crook. I won’t have anything."
Me – "No problems. (addressing the Airhostess) Just one can please. How much for it?"
Airhostess – "Only 40 Rupees."
I handed over the money to the airhostess and took the can.
Airhostess – (smilingly) "Enjoy your drink sir." (and moved on)
Me – "Well, I just did."
Girl – (irritatingly) "And what’s that suppose to mean? You didn’t even open the can…"
Me – "Leave it, you won’t understand. He he he…"
Girl – "Really? Very smart."
Me – "How smart? 1 kg or 10 kg?"
Girl – "Oh God! Can’t you just keep quite for sometime."
Me – "Ok…if you insist…"
There was a long silence again till I finished having the juice. When a guy who also happened to be the cabin crew came up to collect the used can, I did not react. But the girl did…he he he
Girl – "Hardluck…she did not come this time"
Me – "May be she thought to leave us alone."
Girl – "Huh…very funny."
Me – "How funny? 1 kg or 10 kg?"
Girl – "Do you know you have a very poor sense of humor?"
Me – "Not as per the airhostess…he he he"
Girl – "But as per me, it is…"
Me – "Do you fight with every stranger to whom you don’t get a chance to ask time?"
Girl – "No. Not with every strangers…only with those who flirt with airhostesses."
Me – "I told you I wasn’t flirting."
Girl – "Whatever!"
I pulled my white handkerchief from my pocket and showed it to her…
Me – "Listen, I don’t have a white flag. But can this white handkerchief bring peace between us?"
Girl – (laughing out loud) "You really are funny?"
Me – "How funny? 1Kg or … ok leave it? You get irritated by it."
Girl – "Good. Seems you are a fast learner…"
Me – "Well I am. And I really want to learn more about you."
Girl – "Ok, first you tell me, what’s your story?"
Me – "Well, I am just an average guy with unusual differences…"
Girl – "Unusual? Wow, that’s catchy. So what do you do?"
Me – "What do you think I do?"
Girl – "I don’t know. May be a spy or something."
Me – "Spy? Wow…what makes you feel I am a spy?"
Girl – "Well, you flirt with every female you come across. Strangely, some of them like your, so called sense of humor too. You form alliances with your subject’s mom very easily and I don’t know why moms are so easily trapped by people like you…Plus you come up with your funny one liners, which you think are funny but believe me, they are not. You use your gadgets to woo female attention; take your iPod for instance. And when asked, you don’t plainly reveal what kind of work you do. So that ways, you might be a spy. Like Bond…James Bond."
Me – "He he he…Ammmmmazing…but not James Bond please. Bond…Simply Bond. He he he…by the way…I am an Investment guy."
Girl – "What’s an investment guy? I have heard about investment bankers?"
Me – "Oh! Ok, that’s what I meant?"
Girl – "And what do you do as an Investment Banker?"
Me – (with a devilish smile) "Hostile takeovers…he he he"
Girl – "I knew it. You would come up with something like this…Hostile takeover…huh"
Me – "He he he…that’s what I was suppose to tell you in a situation like this…that was just to create humor yaar…"
Girl – "That was cheap, not at all humorous. (sarcastically) Hostile Takeovers…"
Me – "Well, the phrase “hostile takeovers” is extensively used in investment banking industry. But let me clarify, I am…I am mainly into Asset Management…"
Girl – "See, again you are trying to use those double meaning stuffs – Asset Management…"
Me – "What? Double meaning…nooooooooo waaaay…"
Girl – "Now don’t try to stretch it. I won’t get into those vulgar conversations with you. I very well understand what type of assets you manage…"
Me – "Oh God! How should I explain it to you? Mam, it’s strictly investment centric assets that I was talking about, not the one which you are thinking. In the world of investments, company stocks, bonds, derivatives are commonly known as assets."
Girl – "Ok! So you sell stocks."
Me – "No no no…I don’t sell them. I am into the measurement of asset performance. It’s all statistics."
Girl – "Now I am sure, you are trying to make a fool of me…"
Me – "Why do you say so?"
Girl – (sarcastically) "You are purposefully using words like Assets, Measurement, Vital Statistics and God knows what not…"
Me – "Oh God! When did I use the word Vital?"
Girl – "But then you meant it naa?"
Me – "No…not at all. It’s just plain statistics. Not the Vital ones. God! Anyways leave it. You won’t understand, probably because you are not from the investment industry."
Girl – "Hello…I am an MBA. That too from Fore school of management."
Me – "MBA? From Fore? And you don’t even know the term called Asset Management. I am shocked."
Girl – "Well, I took Marketing as my electives. So that ways, it’s still fine."
Me – "No it’s not. You might have studied a bit of finance in your first year. Every B-School teaches that much at least."
Girl – "No it wasn’t taught to us."
Me – "Thank God! I am not an MBA."
Girl – "You know there is a comic character called Crook Bond…incidentally, you call yourself a Bond and for me you are a Crook…he he he…so you are a Crook Bond…And no BSchool would ever give MBA admission to a Crook Bond…ok."
Me – "Well ISB Hyderabad would certainly give me an admission…just wait and watch."
Girl – "ISB? (sarcastically) Rehne do…let’s change the topic, I can’t bear it."
Me – "Yeah, me too."
Girl – "Fine, so let’s call it a truce and discuss something else."
Me – "You know what? That Crook Bond thing was really funny…he he he"
Girl – "Really? (smilingly) How funny? 1 kg or 10 kg…?"
Me – "Wow…I never knew I was so infectious…"
Girl – "There’s only one problem…both James Bond and Crook Bond have more hair than you do…he he he"
Me – "Ah! I have to be bald naa yaar…otherwise how will people call us – Bald & Beautiful…he he he"
Girl – "Us? Wait a minute! Are you really trying to woo me up?"
Me – "It’s working. Isn’t it?"
Girl – "No comments. (with a mischievous smile) I would like to see you confused…he he he…"
Me – (with a naughty expression) "Well, I don’t like clarity in such situations either…"
Girl – "Acchhaa…good hai. By the way, I am serious – a little more hair on your head would look good. Why don’t you try something? Hair oil, or may be a transplant or something like that?"
Girl’s Mom – "Beta try to rub the juice of some green chilies on your scalp. Do it regularly for three or four months at least. It works…"
Girl – "Mom, I told you not to listen to our conversations…"
Girl’s Mom – "What? I was just trying to help. Oh I am so sorry for doing your job…he he he"
Airhostess – "Please fasten your seat belts Madam. Sir. We are preparing to land…"
Me – "Really? But I was expecting a better air crash…"
Airhostess – "You are traveling with GoAir sir. We never had an air crash."
Me – (exclaimed) "Well…We just did…he he he…"(While exclaiming I pointed my index finger to the girl, then to the airhostess and then towards myself)
The airhostess moved on to next passengers nodding her head, again with a witchy smile.
Girl – "What’s between you and her? Are you exchanging some coded information for your so called espionage?"
Me – "See…even you are a fast learner."
Girl – "Whatever…"
Post landing, we took our cabin bags from the overhead luggage shelf and moved towards the exit door of the plane to un-board it.
Airhostess – "Thanks for boarding with us. Enjoy your day Sir…"
Me – "Well, I ju…"
Airhostess – (interrupting in between) "I know what you will say - “I just did” isn’t it?"
Me – "You are a smart girl. And a fast learner too…" (Taunting the girl who sat besides me and was behind me in the que, along with her mother)
Airhostess – "Thank you Sir."
Me – "Was I too rude?"
Airhostess – (smilingly) "Absolutely not sir…in fact you were quite jovial…and it’s good to be jovial."
Me – "Oh! Thanks a lot. You too enjoy your day ahead."
Airhostess – (smilingly) "Well, I just did Sir…"
Now that was a “tit for a tat”, isn’t it? He he he…With a broad smile, I moved on and boarded the shuttle. Somehow, I lost the mother daughter duo while I was boarding the shuttle, which took us to the airport where we had to collect our check in luggage. While I was waiting for mine, someone touched me on my shoulder. I turned back only to know she was the girl’s mother.
Girl’s Mom – "So, did both of you exchange your cell numbers?"
Me – "No, we did not."
Girl’s Mom – "Oh! That’s sad…(turning towards her daughter) You guys didn’t even exchange your cell numbers?"
Girl – "I don’t exchange my cell number with strangers. Especially with those who openly flirt with airhostesses."
Girl’s Mom – "But he was quite a gentleman naa beta. Remember, he called you “Beauty With Brains”. You guys even look good as friends."
Girl – "My dear Mom. You don’t have to choose friends for me. That’s my job."
Girl’s Mom – "Common, even that airhostess said he was jovial. "
Girl – "Whatever. I am not exchanging my cell number with him."
And I was laughing out loud on that strangely lovable situation. For the first time in life, I met a girl’s mom who asked her daughter to exchange her cell number with me…he he he…isn’t that hilarious. When the girl saw her check in bag on the luggage belt, she tried very hard to lift it. However, she was dragged by the moving luggage belt as her bag was quite heavy for her. So I helped her out, in lifting the bag and keeping it on the trolley. Meanwhile, I took my check in suitcase and said goodbye to both of them.
Girl – "Wait. There is another bag also. Who will lift it up for me?"
Me – "Oh! Only I can do that…he he he…thanks for the opportunity."
Girl’s Mom – "See, I told you naa beta, he is quite a gentleman."
Girl – (taunting me) "You know what Mom; he is actually very good in lifting things. He himself revealed that he can lift up the 15 Kg emergency door of the airplane. He was even about to lift up the airhostess also."
Girl’s Mom – "All I can say is that he is a strong guy who can lift you as well…he he he"
I lifted another of her bag and kept it on the trolley.
Me – "I hope someone is here to pick both of you outside."
Girl’s Mom – "Thanks a lot beta! Her dad is already waiting outside for us…"
Me – "Allright then. You all…"
Girl – (interrupting in between) "By the way, we can share our IMID’s."
Me – "I am sorry, what’s that?"
Girl – "IM Id…it’s Instant Messaging ID’s like Yahoo Messenger or Google Talk."
Me – "Oh! I see."(I gradually pulled my wallet out of my pocket to get my visiting card).
Girl’s Mom – "I love you beta…"
Girl – "Mom, I am just doing it for your sake, ok."
Girl’s Mom – "Common beta. I already have your dad who is waiting outside. You are doing it for youself…he he he"
Girl – "Whatever…"
I wrote my Yahoo Messenger Id on the back of my visiting card and handed over the card to the girl.
Girl – "You know what? I just changed my mind. I won’t give you my Yahoo ID."
Me – "Ok! No problems. It was really nice fighting with you…he he he"
Girl’s Mom – (addressing me) "Just wait for some time. Now that she has your visiting card, she will definitely call you…dekh lenaa…he he he"
I just smiled for a final goodbye…
Me – "I really enjoyed both of your company throughout the flight. I really wished we had some more time…he he he"
Girl’s Mom – "Same here beta…we also feel that ways…"
Girl – "We? Not me…ok"
Me – "he he he…Allright then. Goodbye. Enjoy & Have Fun."
Girl – "Well…I just did…(with a mischievous smile) bub-bye."
And I moved towards the prepaid taxi counter where as they approached the exit door.
What a cherishing experience it was, isn’t it? I normally don’t do this flirting shirting as I am a very reserved type of a guy. I keep myself aloof from everything when I am not in office, and when I am at my workplace, I generally come up as an extremely professional guy with a NO NONSENSE Attitude. That’s me, in reality. I guess, I now know, that sometimes, going by the wind also creates unforgettable excitement, how-so-ever directionless they may be. Of-course, one should never ever trespass the boundaries of moral science and community living while doing so. And above all, the other person involved should never feel offended by your moves. That’s where every one, mark my words, everyone enjoy neat & clean flirting. Even females...
By the time, I posted this article on my blog; I already received an offline message from an unknown Yahoo Id.
Yahoo Id – "Hey Crook. How are you?"
I replied – "Now that you already know “it’s good to be bad”, I would say, I am extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely bad."