It was around 11.00 pm when my studies were on full swing…I was trying to analyze the selection of Multifactor Models for charting out the characteristics of an Equity Portfolio through Stock Selection, Sector Allocation and their interaction. And yes, I wasn’t just getting it right…coz it’s too complicated an equation to be mastered for managing investor’s portfolios. I thought to close my eyes and grasp the entire equation which actually takes more than half a page to present mathematically. And I was like…half asleep. Trying to concentrate on different sector allocation patterns which a portfolio can take along with several equity based securities…I was just llllllloving it…it was my world…full of stocks, their fundamental characteristics and technical patterns. And guess, what happens whenever I am deeply engrossed with my capital market meditation? My cell phone rings and breaks the tranquility of my serene mind. He he he…and this time also it rang...
The typical James Bond musical ringtone irritated me…I immediately grabbed my cell phone, checked who’s calling and found Puneet Raheja on the caller screen. Now why is Puneet calling me when he knows I am not in office and that too at 1.22 am in the midnight?
Puneet: Hey Rishi? Kyaa kar rahe ho yaar abhi?
Me: Pata nahi…padh rahaa thaa…yaa shayad so rahaa thaa…bolo? Itni raat me kaise yaad kiya?
Puneet: Chalo aajao neeche…Brijesh bhi hai mere saath…
And I was like zapped…neeche?…these guys were standing downstairs at my place at 1:22 am in the night…what’s going on man…? And then I realized…ye log zaroor koi khuraafat ke mood me hai…he he he…I woke up, searched my chappals, and peeped outside my balcony…these people were waiting for me outside with a box like thing in their hands. It was then when I realized that ab meri waat lagegi…I realized it was my birthday and these people would be celebrating it by pasting cake on my entire body…
It was all dark outside my place. May be the street lights were not working. And when I walked down, Puneet raised his voice – chalo Mili ko bhi bulaa lo…tumharaa birthday celebrate karnaa hai…
Me: Abe pagal ho gaye ho kyaa? Dheere bolo…parivaar wala insaan hoo mai…usne sun liyaa naa to meri waat lag jaayegi…
Puneet: Are bhai…aaj tumhara birthday hai…un logo kaa honaa to zaroori hai…chalo bulao Mili ko…chalo chhodo, Arpitaa ko bulaa lo kam se kam…
I was literally getting irritated…Mili and Arpita are the two girls who recently moved in the ground floor of the same building where I stay…just imagine what could have happened if they would have listened to our conversation…And Puneet was howling just in front of their door…he he he…Dost aise ho to dushmano ki kyaa zaroorat…he he he…
Jaise taise, these people opened the Barista box…And I was again bothered…I am dieting these days and these people brought a chocolate cake for me which are generally very high on calories…he he he…
Me: Abe tum logo ko yahi time milaa tha mera birthday celebrate karne ko…
Brijesh: Sirji…aapka birthday hai…zor shor se celebrate honaa chaahiye…hum to fir bhi shaanti se celebrate karenge…
Me: Dikh rahaa hai kitni shaanti se celebrate kar rahe ho…bus ab ye pasting wasting mat karnaa ab…tum logo ko pataa hi hai that I don’t like it…
Puneet: Haa haa…nahi karenge…humko bhi pataa hai you don’t like it. Chalo ab cake kaato jaldi se…hame office nikalnaa hai…kaafi kaam padaa hai…
Me: Chalo uper…ghar me kaatenge cake…yahaa kaafi andhera hai…
Puneet: Nahi…yahi pe kaatenge…ghar pe sab so rahe honge…let’s not disturb them…chalo yahi pe kaato cake…
I was slightly apprehensive in cutting the cake, as I knew the basic characteristics of these people. Especially after seeing Puneet’s cake cutting ceremony on his birthday two weeks ago. I gathered some courage which actually took me 5 full minutes to do so…and then under the dim light of Brijesh’s cell phone, I slightly chopped a slice of the cake. I took the slice and offered it to Brijesh…he patiently ate a portion of it. I was waiting ke koi action ho…thank god…nothing happened…then I took another slice of the cake and offered it to Puneet. He also ate a portion of it and nothing happened. I was astonished – ye kyaa ho rahaa hai…why aren’t these people behaving the way they are?
Brijesh: Sirji…aap bhi to lo…aapka hi birthday hai aur aap hi nahi khaaoge to kaisaa hogaa
Me: Ok ok…I will have it…
The moment I picked a small portion of the cake in my hands, I felt something wet on my head…And I was like – ye kyaa hai? Then Brijesh tightly gripped my hands and Puneet started pasting the cake on my face.
Me: Saalo…tumko bola tha…ye sab mat karo…fir bhi
Chappaak…was the sound I heard on my head…I think it was Mommo’s chutney which Puneet splashed on my head…I don’t really know what all things these people used on my body…Eggs, Sauce, Mommo’s Chutney and the cake too…I think they also used some keechad (wet mud) on my back. I completely gave myself up to these guys…Puneet took a piece of cake and dropped it inside my pants. Yaak…what a bakwaas feeling it was…as if I had a potty while wearing my pants…hoooooooooooooo…
It was then when something just got cooked in my mind…why should only Puneet and Brijesh have fun if it’s my birthday…he he he…why not to change the rules a bit and make it more interesting…? Eureka Eureka…
I grabbed a bigger portion of the cake and pretended as if I would be eating it all alone. Surprisingly, I splashed the entire cake on Puneet’s face. What an amazing idea? Both Brijesh and Puneet were first zapped, and then were completely zoomed by this. While we were in the middle of our so called cake splashing, Puneet realized that his spectacles fell on the ground which suddenly made him myopic in the dark surroundings of my place. Taking advantage of the situation, I grabbed another piece of cake and ran towards Puneet. Realizing my violent moves, Puneet and Brijesh took opposite directions, so as to confuse me. And then began our chase & hunt game which lasted for about 15 minutes. Puneet was trying to search his spectacles too, as he feared that someone of us would walk on it only to break it. So he had two challenges, one to search his spectacles and the other one was to prevent himself from my sudden emotional outburst…He he he…Brijesh tried his best to help him but could not do so…they also took the help of a watchman and two of my neighbors who were enjoying the show from a distance.
Puneet: Abe holi thode hi hai aaj…it’s your birthday…only we are supposed to splash cake on you…
Me: Sorry guys…the rules are slightly changed…since it’s my day today, I would be deciding what should be on the platter…he he he…
After some hit and trial, I though to use my martial art grappling techniques to get these guys…I illusioned Puneet as if I would be hitting his face, and simultaneously used my legs to intercept his running…Guess what happened?…Puneet lost his balance and slipped on the ground with a forceful momentum…only to get himself injured on his palm. Mercy…what’s that? Ask any martial artist, and he would advice you to take advantage of this situation rather than getting emotional…he he he…
Puneets face and neck was completely splashed with cake…he he he…
Puneet: Yaar ye kyaa kar diya?…dekho mujhe chot bhi lag gayi…meri pant bhi fat gayi…shayad shirt bhi…
Me: Wow…amazing…maine bola thaa bhaagne ke liye…
Realizing that Puneet injured himself…Brijesh lost his emotional balance and approached us…fir kyaa thaa…he also got himself pasted with the cake I was still carrying in my pants. He he he…remember that potty wala feeling…he he he…yaak…
Brijesh: Ye kaisaa birthday celebration tha sirji…meri to kuch samajh me nahi aa rahaa…
Me: he he he…aap hi logo ka idea thaa cake splashing karne kaa…
Puneet: Yaar wo sab chhodo…meri to paant bhi fat gayi hai…ye dekho ghutne ke neeche…mujhe to office bhi janaa hai abhi…
Me: Office jaane ke liye kisne rokaa hai tumko…?
Puneet: Tumne to meri izzat faad di yaar…fati hui izzat leke office jaaungaa kyaa ab mai?...dashboard bhi banana hai mujhe yaar…
Me: He he he…bhai mere…izzat ghutne se barah inch uper hoti hai…neeche nahi…shukar manao…maine wo nahi faadi…he he he…warnaa tumhaare dashboard me uski bhi entry ho jaati…he he he…
Brijesh: Sirji thoda paani milega…? Dho lete hai thoda…
Me: Uper chalo…yahaa khulle me dho-oge kya?
Puneet: Nahi yaar…do bottle paani laa lo…hum usi me nibtaa lenge…meanwhile I would search my spectacles…
I went upstairs at my place and got a bucket full of water along with a bottle of drinking water. When these people cleaned themselves up, I gave Puneet his spectacles which I only grabbed during the cake splashing, purposefully to make him myopic…he he he…
After the entire drama, both Brijesh and Puneet vowed that they would never bring cake in any of my future birthdays…he he he…
Brijesh: Meri to ab tak samajh me nahi aa rahaa hai ke ye kyaa thaa sirji?
Me: Expect the unexpected…at-least from me…he he he
Puneet was speechless…these people never had a birthday experience like this one…
Even I never had such an experience in my entire lifetime…this one was really unique.
I was seriously missing Manoj…had he been here, I am sure, we would have created something more interesting…We four together complete DAMM…Disguised Assistant Manager’s Meet…but since Manoj is working from another office, I understand his absence.
After having a nice bath, I checked my cell phone only to know that Sushant and Sumit already tried to reach me while I was deeply engrossed in my Capital Market Meditation. He he he...Though few in numbers, I do have faithful buddies who try to surprise me only to get surprised in return…he he he…
You know what…I couldn’t even taste my birthday cake as it was entirely used for splashing…just imagine, how HOLI-stically was my birthday celebrated…he he he…so while writing this blog, I am tasting few of my diet biscuits along with some sprouts, instead of cake…he he he…birthday experience, with a different touch…
DAMM rocks…because Puneet rocks, Brijesh rocks, Manoj rocks…and Rishi Knocks...isn’t it? he he he
