Be Humane - Respond Timely

Once upon a dream, there was a call that somehow got rejected / unanswered. Do you know what that call did? That night it created havoc in the life of the person who ignored / rejected it. It forced him to wake up in his life thereby respecting every situation wherein others might try to reach him even when he is at the peak point of his busy schedule.

Now that’s still a dreamy situation where in anything and everything can happen because you might consider it hypothetical. So now its time for you to taste a bit of reality…taste it with a pinch of salt…

Back in 1998, I used to visit SFS College even though I was not a student then. Those days, I got myself involved in every fight that happened for the silliest possible reasons. Those were the days when people used to call me Datch Bhai…and I used to resolve their disputes by arranging settlements between two parties. If not, then I used to take decisions in bashing up the party which did not get ready for the so called agreement…now that’s what made me a Bhai…those days. People used to call me at a nearby restaurant in Seminary Hills which belonged to one of my friends. That was my contact point if someone wanted to call me over the phone.

One such day, I was involved in two college fights. I was in the middle of settling the first one, when Birju, who used to work in the restaurant, came and informed me that someone called from my home and wanted to speak to me. Now those who are close to us are always ignored by us when we think we are busy. Even I ignored the message and continued with the settlement. And while dealing the second one, I somehow got involved too much in the fight forgetting Birju’s message.

When everything got over, I went home as usual to have lunch. The moment I reached home, I was informed by my aunt that my father was admitted to Apollo hospital as he broke his leg. My Mom tried to call me twice but since I did not take the call, I could not get the message. I rushed to the Apollo Hospital where in I learnt from the doctor that my father may or may not be able to walk normally again. The doctors gave my Mom two options for the treatment and she was confused as to which one was to be selected. During that point of time, she missed me a lot as only family members can take such decisions. In my absence, she had to rely on the doctor’s choice of treatment. My father was already operated when I reached the hospital. I was highly embarrassed by the very thought that when my family needed me the most, I was settling scores for others thereby ignoring their call. I realized that messages are only to be taken and not to be ignored.

After few months, I saw my father walking normally again. May be that was the reason I forgot what I did the day he broke his leg and hence moved on to a normal life.

Time lets you forget everything. Back in 2004, when I worked for Convergys, I had a colleague called Vikram. Since both of us gelled with each other due to a common team and female interest we gradually became friends. Those days, we had to meet our work targets that our team leader used to give us everyday. Since I was not very comfortable working on a keyboard, I had to concentrate a lot while executing my job. Gradually I developed the habit of rejecting calls which I used to receive during my work hours. That unfortunate day, I rejected two of Vikram’s calls as I was busy in meeting my daily target. Later in the evening, I was informed by Monika that Vikram passed away as he met with an accident.

I still remain perplexed as to why he called me? The time I rejected his call was very close to the time he met with the accident, which took away his life. May be he called me for help…as the accident happened in the vicinity close to my place of residence. It was a Déjà vu for me as I created a similar situation earlier also when I chose to ignore the message of my Mom who wanted me around. This time, it wasn’t family but a close friend whom I can not see again. Indeed I met my work target that day by rejecting those calls, but I lost someone whom I used to consider the only friend those days.

We humans tend to learn our lessons only when we loose things close to us. That’s the hard fact of life. And the above incident made me learn one thing – we should atleast value the fact that someone who tried to reach us through a call or a message should not be ignored, even when we are busy. We should respect the caller by accepting his / her call…be it for the shortest possible duration, so that two-way information flows between the caller and the receiver about their next moves. It eases situations rather than worsening it. Moreover, I don’t think that we are Prime Ministers or Presidents to be that very busy to reject or ignore calls and still don’t have time to respond back to the caller. By doing so, we exhibit an extremely rude and a highly non-responsible behavior.

Prashant from Xchanging would tell you how badly he was abused by me when he repeatedly ignored my calls while he was in office.

I was sitting in a saloon when Swati called me to enquire on his behalf.

I shouted on her, “Ask that bastard to call me right now or else I will be there in the office to tear him apart”.

That was just the trailer…he he he…and when he called, the actual movie lasted for about twenty minutes where in all the customers and the barbers went out of the saloon fearing me as I was just yelling at him in a Dolby digital sound for exhibiting such a non-responsible behavior. Just within 20 minutes after that call, Prashant was at my place leaving everything behind to apologize for what he did that day. If he would have received my call to inform me about his busy schedule, I wouldn’t have fulminate him…because even I understand that people, at times are busy. But what on earth makes them ignore / reject calls with out sending a timely response and later on expect decency from the caller?

Sumit, a close colleague who is often considered a younger brother to me understood my point when he happened to ignore one my calls. Fortunately, he never repeated his mistake since then.

For males, I can still use abusive language that too in the purest form of Hindi to convince them about my point of view. But what if, the person who rejects / ignores your call turns out to be a female? And if she is your friend cum colleague, how would you treat her? Well, for me the answer is quite simple. I generally don’t support female reservations or concessions. That's the most authentic form of gender equality according to me. So the treatment that I have for the male members is applicable to the female ones too…Doesn’t mean that I would use abusive language for a female. But yes, the person, (male or a female), who ignores / rejects my call without conveying a timely message will certainly be ignored / rejected by me.

Definitely, I don’t hesitate to de-list such people from my professional or personal circle of influence. Till date, three of my best friends which includes, two females as well, are the victim of my philosophy. They were warned about it thrice but then they took me or my philosophy for granted. Today, I don't even have talking terms with those three, who used to be one of my best friends once. And I don’t have just reasons for doing so, but a proper conceptual philosophy. At times, even I remain busy, to such an extent that I have to work for close to 15-18 hours a day. Most of the times, even I have to be in meetings or 1x1 sessions or conference calls with clients. But still, I manage to send at least a short information to the caller thereby facilitating information exchange so that the caller does not have to wait for me. The only exception to this rule is - when I am not in my senses.

A simple message to all my existing / future friends / people in my network – Lack of timely response to my phone calls, emails & messages is a sin, which will not be tolerated. I will still understand when the other party would either be sleeping, driving or in a medical state where in he / she can not respond. But NOT otherwise.

Needless to mention, that I learnt my lesson the hard way. Its better that you all learn it from my experience, or else be ready to loose me as a friend and then learn your lesson…it will either be a hard way for you too, or else…ki fark paindaa hai ji? Rishi jaise to kitne log aate jaate rainde hai…he he he

After all, why should I be the only one to loose friends (like Vikram) just because of rejected calls or ignored messages? Isn’t it?