New Year Resolution Of A WallStreet Investor

Remember, September 15, 2008…it was my birthday when you all wished me – Many Many Happy RETURNS Of The Day…And then Lehman filed for bankruptcy, WallStreet crashed and the entire economy went into recession…Since then, each stock in my portfolio is chunking out negative rate of RETURNS…so “NO BIRTHDAY WISHES IN 2009 PLEASE”, is the only new year resolution for me...

Ponzi Scheme – Creating Greed Confidently

Can a motorbike with two wheels, touching the ground, stand on it without any external support given to it by side-stand or mid-stand or someone actually holding it?  No…right?  But still we see it zooming on the roads on the same two wheels…that too without any external support.  Initially, the rider has to face a few problems in gaining momentum through a proper mix of acceleration, handle control, gear settings and break application along with one important thing – Confidence.  However once he knows, how to set the motion of the bike, excitement begins and reaches to its next level.  Now why am I telling you all this?  He he he…Because the kind of investment scheme which you will go through, if you keep your reading momentum intact, will give you, the same thrill as you would speed up a motorbike.  

Let me tell you the first things first.  The methodology which you would be reading, is actually a fraudulent investment scheme.  Got your interest on this article?  He he he…now read further…

It will pay you abnormally short term high returns on your investment and hence would entice & allure new investors.  Don’t worry; the promoter of the scheme doesn’t have to do any kind of business with your investments to generate profits so as to pay alluring returns.  Now you would be thinking – how the hell, will he be giving us high returns then?  Well, the promoter will pay high returns to all his investors out of the money paid into the scheme by subsequent investors and not from profit.  Again, you will ask me – are you going nuts?  How will the scheme survive?  He he he…Well, the scheme is not set to survive but to die, after living it’s life only and only on cash inflows & outflows.  Till the time, investors maintain their cash-flow injection,  the scheme will boom on it’s own…

During inception, the promoter will have to infuse one thing in this scheme – CONFIDENCE.  It will deceive those people who have much more money but are layman in the field of investments and financial world.  Such people generally have a tendency to get amused by the jargons, which promoter uses in creating investment deception.  Of-course, initially the scheme will have a lesser number of investors, but when the existing ones get higher returns at the maturity of the short investment term, the number will start growing.  Obviously, the scheme will grow more through the words, spread by the initial investors who got higher returns.  Other investors will definitely grab such opportunities to participate in the scheme, leading to a cascade effect deriving from the promise of extraordinary returns which actually will be paid out of the investments of new entrants and not out of the profits which will not even be generated.  

Well, if you be the initial investor who got higher returns on your investments, won’t you re-invest in this scheme?  Yes, isn’t it?  And that’s where the promoter strikes his chords.  The promoter will set the re-investment deal with all his existing investors prior to the date of maturity, thereby sending them just statements of their gains and not the actual money because it has been re-invested in the scheme again.  He he he…The promoter will definitely try his best in minimizing the withdrawals too.  However, if few investors do wish to withdraw their money in accordance to the terms and conditions allowed, the requests will be processed promptly.  This is to generate an illusionary effect, where in other investors remain wrongly aware about the solvency status of the scheme/fund.  Other investors will still think that the scheme/fund can chunk out higher returns compared to other alternate investments available in the market. 

Now that’s how the scheme will boom.  Let me tell you, how its death is slated. 

Well, everything has a saturation limit.  There will be a time, when the number of investors pooling in their hard earned money will decrease.  Such a time can come, when cash inflows will be lesser than the cash outflows as the existing investors will not like to continue further with the scheme.  It will automatically generate liquidity crunch and hence the scheme will collapse. Also, if legal authorities intervene during the time of its boom and ask for details, the scheme can be exposed to its death due to the lack of submission of valid investment methodology by the promoter.  And believe me, it will still be a planned death as the promoter knows about it, well in advance, prior to setting it on a run. 

If these two does not happen and the promoter controls his greed factor, then he can vanish in vacuum with the available funds in his scheme thereby allowing it to die purposefully.  There would be two effects in such a situation – one the investors would panic, but will the promoter care?  And two, the promoter will give the world another rags to riches story of himself, thereby arising from anonymity to entering another anonymity.  He he he…

And believe me, this investment methodology is not a newer one.  In 1920, it made Charles Ponzi a millionaire who landed Boston with just $2.50 in cash and $1.00 million in hopes.  Within a very short period of time, he managed to boom his scheme which initially started redeeming international postage reply coupons at face value in United States as a form of arbitrage.  Gradually, he shifted to the above mentioned investment methodology asking more and more people to pool in money for a higher return and became a millionaire in just six months.  Promising 50% returns in just 45 days, he managed to boom up $15 million through 40,000 investors.  Amazing, isn’t it?

You might be asking that in the world of investments, every methodology becomes a jargon.  So what is the jargon for this scheme?  Well Charles Ponzi was the first one in United States to use this scheme for his own benefits.  Now that’s something which comes as official information to me.  The entire methodology mentioned above is known as a Ponzi Scheme, especially in and around Wall-Street…

If you are not inclined towards history, you would definitely curse me for telling you such an old scheme that emerged in 1920.  The world has drastically changed since then and so you will not believe in its existence anymore.  Correct?  Let me tell you a universal axiom – History repeats itself…so did Ponzi Scheme.  Dona Branca, popularly known as “People’s Banker” in Portugal used it between 1970 and 1984.  

Where-as, Reed Slatkin, used the same scheme, since 1986 till 2000 to raise $593 million.  

Again if you might be cursing me for introducing you to the years passed by - several years ago, let me bring you Bernard Madoff who used the same scheme to create the biggest fraud that this world has ever experienced – valued over $50 BILLION. 

He was finally arrested on December 11, 2008.  Now be happy as it is the latest fact associated with Ponzi Scheme, which is even lesser than a month old.  Hopefully, my next blog will be based on the Madoff story…till then allow me to get busy again in analyzing facts and figures of Mr. Madoff…

It would definitely be worth mentioning that if your CONFIDENCE IN CREATING GREED has grown enough, then I can extend my blog with your story too...he he he

The Pool Bash...

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion.  In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool, any of them have ever seen.  The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry sharks…he he he…

The CEO tells his executives: “I think an executive should be measured by courage.  Courage is what made me CEO.  So this is my challenge to each of you – If anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim past those sharks and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything he/she desires.  My job, my money, my house, anything”. 

Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of his estate.  Suddenly they hear a loud splash.  Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, juggling for his life.  He dodges the sharks left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare.  He pulls himself out just as a huge shark snaps at his shoes…

The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing! I’ve never seen anything like it in my entire life.  You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours.  Tell me what I can do for you?”

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “Yeah! I want to know, who the hell pushed me into the pool?”

Top 10 Reasons To Be A Statistician...

1. “Estimating Parameters” is easier than dealing with “Real Life”. 
2. Statisticians are significant.
3. I always wanted to learn the entire Greek alphabet. 
4. The probability, a Statistician gets a job is > 0.9999.
5. If I make it, I can be an Analyst, or else I can always transfer to Engineering. 
6. Statisticians do it with confidence, frequency and variability. 
7. You never have to be right, only close to it.  
8. I am normal and everyone else is skewed. 
9. The regression line looks better than the unemployment line. 
10. No one knows what Statisticians do, so they are always right.  

Worst Air Disaster

The worst Air-disaster occurred early this morning when a small two sitter Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.   Rescue workers have recovered three hundred bodies so far and expect that number to climb up as digging continues into the night.  

Be Humane - Respond Timely

Once upon a dream, there was a call that somehow got rejected / unanswered. Do you know what that call did? That night it created havoc in the life of the person who ignored / rejected it. It forced him to wake up in his life thereby respecting every situation wherein others might try to reach him even when he is at the peak point of his busy schedule.

Now that’s still a dreamy situation where in anything and everything can happen because you might consider it hypothetical. So now its time for you to taste a bit of reality…taste it with a pinch of salt…

Back in 1998, I used to visit SFS College even though I was not a student then. Those days, I got myself involved in every fight that happened for the silliest possible reasons. Those were the days when people used to call me Datch Bhai…and I used to resolve their disputes by arranging settlements between two parties. If not, then I used to take decisions in bashing up the party which did not get ready for the so called agreement…now that’s what made me a Bhai…those days. People used to call me at a nearby restaurant in Seminary Hills which belonged to one of my friends. That was my contact point if someone wanted to call me over the phone.

One such day, I was involved in two college fights. I was in the middle of settling the first one, when Birju, who used to work in the restaurant, came and informed me that someone called from my home and wanted to speak to me. Now those who are close to us are always ignored by us when we think we are busy. Even I ignored the message and continued with the settlement. And while dealing the second one, I somehow got involved too much in the fight forgetting Birju’s message.

When everything got over, I went home as usual to have lunch. The moment I reached home, I was informed by my aunt that my father was admitted to Apollo hospital as he broke his leg. My Mom tried to call me twice but since I did not take the call, I could not get the message. I rushed to the Apollo Hospital where in I learnt from the doctor that my father may or may not be able to walk normally again. The doctors gave my Mom two options for the treatment and she was confused as to which one was to be selected. During that point of time, she missed me a lot as only family members can take such decisions. In my absence, she had to rely on the doctor’s choice of treatment. My father was already operated when I reached the hospital. I was highly embarrassed by the very thought that when my family needed me the most, I was settling scores for others thereby ignoring their call. I realized that messages are only to be taken and not to be ignored.

After few months, I saw my father walking normally again. May be that was the reason I forgot what I did the day he broke his leg and hence moved on to a normal life.

Time lets you forget everything. Back in 2004, when I worked for Convergys, I had a colleague called Vikram. Since both of us gelled with each other due to a common team and female interest we gradually became friends. Those days, we had to meet our work targets that our team leader used to give us everyday. Since I was not very comfortable working on a keyboard, I had to concentrate a lot while executing my job. Gradually I developed the habit of rejecting calls which I used to receive during my work hours. That unfortunate day, I rejected two of Vikram’s calls as I was busy in meeting my daily target. Later in the evening, I was informed by Monika that Vikram passed away as he met with an accident.

I still remain perplexed as to why he called me? The time I rejected his call was very close to the time he met with the accident, which took away his life. May be he called me for help…as the accident happened in the vicinity close to my place of residence. It was a Déjà vu for me as I created a similar situation earlier also when I chose to ignore the message of my Mom who wanted me around. This time, it wasn’t family but a close friend whom I can not see again. Indeed I met my work target that day by rejecting those calls, but I lost someone whom I used to consider the only friend those days.

We humans tend to learn our lessons only when we loose things close to us. That’s the hard fact of life. And the above incident made me learn one thing – we should atleast value the fact that someone who tried to reach us through a call or a message should not be ignored, even when we are busy. We should respect the caller by accepting his / her call…be it for the shortest possible duration, so that two-way information flows between the caller and the receiver about their next moves. It eases situations rather than worsening it. Moreover, I don’t think that we are Prime Ministers or Presidents to be that very busy to reject or ignore calls and still don’t have time to respond back to the caller. By doing so, we exhibit an extremely rude and a highly non-responsible behavior.

Prashant from Xchanging would tell you how badly he was abused by me when he repeatedly ignored my calls while he was in office.

I was sitting in a saloon when Swati called me to enquire on his behalf.

I shouted on her, “Ask that bastard to call me right now or else I will be there in the office to tear him apart”.

That was just the trailer…he he he…and when he called, the actual movie lasted for about twenty minutes where in all the customers and the barbers went out of the saloon fearing me as I was just yelling at him in a Dolby digital sound for exhibiting such a non-responsible behavior. Just within 20 minutes after that call, Prashant was at my place leaving everything behind to apologize for what he did that day. If he would have received my call to inform me about his busy schedule, I wouldn’t have fulminate him…because even I understand that people, at times are busy. But what on earth makes them ignore / reject calls with out sending a timely response and later on expect decency from the caller?

Sumit, a close colleague who is often considered a younger brother to me understood my point when he happened to ignore one my calls. Fortunately, he never repeated his mistake since then.

For males, I can still use abusive language that too in the purest form of Hindi to convince them about my point of view. But what if, the person who rejects / ignores your call turns out to be a female? And if she is your friend cum colleague, how would you treat her? Well, for me the answer is quite simple. I generally don’t support female reservations or concessions. That's the most authentic form of gender equality according to me. So the treatment that I have for the male members is applicable to the female ones too…Doesn’t mean that I would use abusive language for a female. But yes, the person, (male or a female), who ignores / rejects my call without conveying a timely message will certainly be ignored / rejected by me.

Definitely, I don’t hesitate to de-list such people from my professional or personal circle of influence. Till date, three of my best friends which includes, two females as well, are the victim of my philosophy. They were warned about it thrice but then they took me or my philosophy for granted. Today, I don't even have talking terms with those three, who used to be one of my best friends once. And I don’t have just reasons for doing so, but a proper conceptual philosophy. At times, even I remain busy, to such an extent that I have to work for close to 15-18 hours a day. Most of the times, even I have to be in meetings or 1x1 sessions or conference calls with clients. But still, I manage to send at least a short information to the caller thereby facilitating information exchange so that the caller does not have to wait for me. The only exception to this rule is - when I am not in my senses.

A simple message to all my existing / future friends / people in my network – Lack of timely response to my phone calls, emails & messages is a sin, which will not be tolerated. I will still understand when the other party would either be sleeping, driving or in a medical state where in he / she can not respond. But NOT otherwise.

Needless to mention, that I learnt my lesson the hard way. Its better that you all learn it from my experience, or else be ready to loose me as a friend and then learn your lesson…it will either be a hard way for you too, or else…ki fark paindaa hai ji? Rishi jaise to kitne log aate jaate rainde hai…he he he

After all, why should I be the only one to loose friends (like Vikram) just because of rejected calls or ignored messages? Isn’t it?

Weekend Classroom...

Weekends are normally boring for me.  He he he…now that’s me. 

Watching DVD’s, visiting PVR Metropolitan, purchasing books & magazines from Landmark and then reading them, cooking, surfing internet (almost the entire night) and sometimes professional networking.  One can literally predict my weekend as it has been the same since past six years.  He he he…no change at all.  And you should not be amazed to learn that I do everything alone, except for networking meets.  He he he…

To make my weekend interesting, today I thought to accept Ravi’s invitation of visiting his place.  Being a very close childhood friend of mine, we met only twice since he joined Indian Navy immediately after his junior college.  I don’t know why, but he never bothered to contact me in these many years.  I will not blame him, as my college friends do complaint about me just exactly the way I am doing for Ravi.  He he he…And suddenly, when he called and invited after so many years, even I got eager to meet him. 

After some initial dhishoom dhaashoom, which we had with each other, for not contacting since ages, finally we got nostalgic about our school & college days.  Bavelli, his Malli Christian wife, got some pakoda’s and chai for us.  And then he started narrating his heroic stories which he created while working with Indian Navy.  It reminded me of our college days; when we both had equally big mouth for being highly eloquent about our immature chivalry in following girls and fighting for them with anyone and everyone.  He he he…

Suddenly, he asked me, “Saale teri ghadi to sahi chamak rahi hai.  Kaonsi hai?”

I replied, “chhod naa yaar…waise bhi samay kharaab chal rahaa hai”

And then we continued boasting about our life in past ten years.  When he learnt that I am working as an Assistant Manager with a multinational, he was first shocked and then surprised.  May be like my other friends, he also never expected that.  While we continued interacting with each other, I somehow felt as if he was getting distracted.  I asked him the reason as to what was wrong?  To which he counter-asked me, “Are you really working on some good post?”

Rishi: Why are you asking so?  I mean, the post is not so good, but then it’s not bad either.  Jaise taise gaadi chal rahi hai…

Ravi: Kya haal banaa diyaa hai tune sale apnaa?  Ek to motaa ho gayaa hai, uper se baal bhi kam ho gaye…kum se kum kapde to dhang ke pehnaa kar saale. 

Rishi: Kyu be?  Kyaa hua mere kapdo ko? 

Ravi: Chhod…jaane de…ye bataa ki Raghu milaa kyaa kabhi?

And we gradually changed the topic.  However, I was a bit astonished as to why this guy did not like my clothes.  After all I was dressed soberly, even though I was in my casuals. 

Anyways, when Bavelli announced lunch time, I went to wash my hands.  When I returned from the bathroom, I saw Ravi scanning my shoes which I removed while entering his drawing room, as a part of Indian tradition. 

Rishi:  What happened? 

Ravi:  Nahi, kuch nahi.  Chal bahut bhook lagi hai.  Khanaa khaate hai…

And then over lunch, he mentioned that his brother in law is coming from Madras the next day.  So the couple wanted to gift him something.  As such, a discussion started on the gift items.  Finally, the couple decided to visit Vishal Mega Mart as Bavelli was informed by her colleague that the store is giving good discounts these days.  When I asked him where is this Vishal Mega Mart, he pointed me over my ignorance. 

Ravi:  Saale, itne saal se dilli me hai, aur Vishal Mega Mart nahi maloom tereko?

Rishi:  I have just heard about it.  Never visited. 

Ravi;  To kyaa kapde abhi bhi Nagpur ke New Vijaya Stores se leke aataa hai?  Teri wo T-shirt mujhe ab bhi yaad hai, jispe likhaa tha – JOLA.  He he he

Rishi:  Maine aisi koi T-shirt nahi pehni, jispe JOLA likhaa ho. 

Ravi:  Abe, wo tere gale pe peeche ander side me likhaa thaa…jahaa generally brand ka tag hotaa hai…jab mai tere ghar night studies ke liye aata thaa tab dekhaa thaa maine wo T-shirt. 

I still don’t remember whether I wore such a T-shirt those days.  Although, I used to purchase clothes from New Vijaya Stores.  It was a small store full of unbranded casual clothes.  Those days, we used to get limited money from our parents, so had to manage in a tight budget.  He he he…

Ravi: Teri jeans dekh…sale…ab bhi aisa hi kuch ultaa seedhaa likhaa hai ispe…he he he…aur joote bhi dekh liye maine tere…he he he

Rishi:  Abe oye, bahut materialistic ho gayaa hai kyaa tu?

Ravi:  Abe thodaa hona bhi padtaa hai.  Lagnaa to chaahiye ki kamaa rahaa hai saale.  Kyaa karegaa itnaa bachaake.  Waise salary kyaa hai teri?

Now this is the question, which irritates me specially when old friends meet and ask instead of asking other things about me.  I know I am not earning a fat pay-packet, however, old friends tend to measure your success based on your salary.  And that’s what bothers me a lot.  I curse myself for being such an underpaid guy.  I somehow did not answer to his questions and tried my best to divert the topic.  However, Ravi was adamant as he used to be ten years ago.  He kept on and on and on…thereby asking me to check what is written on the inner neck of my shirt. 

Rishi:  Ye to mujhe maaloom hai…isme JOLA nahi likhaa hai…balke Springfield likhaa hai. 

Ravi:  Dekha…Springfield matlab Spring ka khet.  He he he…Teri ghadi dikhaa…bas ek teri ghadi chamak rahi hai…nayi liyaa hoga…

Rishi:  Haa ab to do mahine puraani ho gayi hai. 

He looked at my watch grabbing my hand and again started laughing…

Ravi:  Abe Kutte Kameene, Assistant Manager saale…mai to soch rahaa thaa ke ghadi kam se kam Titan yaa fir HMT hogi, but isme bhi tu kanchi maar gayaa…sarojini nagar se liyaa thaa kyaa?…isme likhaa hai…Tissot.  He he he

Oh my god…I was so irritated…if Bavelli would not have been around, I would have yelled at him.  He moved towards my shoe and giggled…

Ravi:  Florsheim likhaa hai ispe…ye bhi tere us JOLA ki tarah hai…jiskaa tujhe matlab bhi nahi maaloom hogaa…he he he

Bavelli:  Kyu mazaak udaa rahe ho Rishi ka?  Itne saalo baad mile ho…kam se kam dhang se to baat karo…

Ravi:  Are tum chintaa mat karo…hum log aise hi hai…bas gaaliyaa nahi de rahe kyuki tum ho…warnaa ek se ek gaaliyaa invent ki thi hum logo ne college me…

Rishi:  Bhai mere, tu khaamosh hone kaa kyaa legaa?

Ravi:  Bus ek baar tu palat…mujhe teri jeans pe kyaa likhaa hai dekhnaa hai?

Now I was really irritated by him.  When I refused to turn, he himself went towards my back and shouted…”Von Dutch” ”Von Dutch”…he he he…and laughed like hell…I immediately pulled my belt and moved towards him…

Rishi:  Yaad hai school me ek baar maine tujhe apni NCC Airwing wali belt se peetaa thaa…agar ab tu nahi rukaa to beta pandhra saal ke baad fir tujhe belt se padegi…

Ravi:  Ek minute ek minute, teri belt pe bhi kuch likhaa hua hai…dikhaa zaraa…

Rishi:  Oh my god…yaar Bavelli, tujhe kyaa shaadi karne ke liye ye kutta kameenaa hi milaa thaa…?

Ravi:  (grabbing the belt from my hand) Duchini…haa haa haa…saale kaonsi chudaail yaa  daayan ka belt leke aayaa hai…Duchini naam kaa…ha ha ha…

Rishi:  Ok…I give up my dear.  Has le tere ko jitnaa hasnaa hai…saale…bol to pant utaarke tujhe underwear pe kya likhaa hai wo bhi dikhaa du…?

Bavelli:  ek minute, ek minute, ye Duchini maine kahi dekhaa hai…shayad kisi magazine me…ye koi fashion brand hai kya?

Rishi:  Thank God!  Atleast she understands something about brands. 

Ravi:  Achchha, ye aise chudail, daayan type ke bhi brands hote hai kyaa?

After that, next half an hour was spent in just convincing him that Duchini & Florsheim are leading international leather apparel brands, whereas Springfield & Von Dutch are European casuals & denim brands.  And the watch in my hand is nothing but a Swiss Watch with a brand name called Tissot. 

Bavilli liked my Tissot very much and whispered, “Ravi, instead of going to the Vishal Mega Mart, can we go and get a Tissot for my brother? I am sure, he would like it too”

Ravi:  Why not?  If your brother will like it, let’s get it for him.  Where will I get it and for how much?

Rishi:  Go to an Exclusive Tissot Showroom and ask for the Tissot TXL Chorono T60.1.587.52 model. 

Ravi:  Abe to keemat bhi bataa de naa yaar. 

Rishi:  Well in India, you would get it for Rs.32,000/- where as if you import it, you would get it for $500.00 including shipping charges.  Electronics are costlier in India compared to US and other places. 

Seeing Ravi’s face, now it was my turn to laugh around…but then there is something called as Humility which if practiced at right place at right point of time can save you from getting overburdened materialistically.  And that’s what counts in the end. 

The entire incident gave me another outlook.  It forced me to understand that even if brands are BRANDS, they can not be recognized by everyone. 

Even branding of Brands need something called as Brand Management. 

Prior to writing this blog, I just visualized as an entrepreneur, launching my own brand…guess what will it be known to people like Ravi… JOLA …he he he

What better brand management insight can I get on a weekend which surprisingly turned out to be “Interesting”…isn’t it?

Living With Our Choice

Sometimes we just keep our cell phones along with us expecting an important call. And the fact that it rings every now and then, but not when you actually expect it…can cause you an entirely different world. 

29^th September 2007 was the day when I was expecting such a call.  I waited for that one call since past one month then, after toiling hard for days and nights for about a year.  I already cleared three analytical rounds with the Research Managers and last one with the Country Director of McKinsey India, for a post called Research Consultant (Investments).  They were ready to hire me despite of the fact that my work experience was mostly earned in BPO’s.  However, some confusion occurred by the third party guys during my background verification due to which McKinsey did not roll out the offer letter.  They said they would call me once they confirm everything is all right with my candidature. 

It was for the first time I tried hard to get something worthwhile.  It was for the first time, I read, understood, grasped and built an insight about the investment world just to land up with McKinsey or Goldman Sachs.  It was for the first time, I challenged myself by making promises…that I will go beyond probabilities to create some possibilities.  Ethically and morally, I wanted to be positive to myself.  That’s the only reason why I did not incorporate any fraudulent means to get into something which I aspired to be.  After all I was dealing with my aspirations.  But then, too much of truth can make you look like a liar.  May be that’s why McKinsey guys did not call. 

Finally, when the ground service guys announced, I had to board the flight to Philadelphia via Chicago.  During my flight, I pretended to be sleepy as my colleagues and managers around me were happy and excited to be in US.  However, I was highly grieved.  It was for the first time in my life, when I literally cried…though, with closed eyes…and that too, 35,000 feet above the ground level.  That time, I knew it very well that I made a compromise by continuing my BPO job which I accepted a month earlier and continued my search after realizing that the profile did not turn out to be what was promised. 

It was really hard for me to digest the fact that I was again in the company of those who don’t really use their grey matter.  They just follow the SOP’s (Standard Operating Procedures) and execute their jobs.  At my workplace, I don’t intend to give lessons, but to grab them from those who qualify as intellectuals.  Prior to my existing job, I expected a company of elite people from my future professional assignments, where in my colleagues could teach me the algorithms of investment management & advanced financial modeling or could intelligently debate with me on various business related topics like – why Mr. Ben Bernanke is better than Mr. Allen Greenspan? Or why Blackstone & Carlyle are still optimistic about their private equity investments in the pan Asia Pacific zone?   Contrary to this, whenever I try striking such conversations, I end up teaching or preaching rather than learning.  Because, almost 99% of the gentry around me, are highly ignorant to facts & figures that corporate world on this planet is actually churning out every second. 

Ironically, the agony is that I still find few male managers with a pony-tail and ear-rings and few female ones discussing their love life casually with their boyfriends / fiancé over their cell-phones in a sonorous voice…that too in their official premises.  Their mantra is to look COOL…Most of them will curse you like hell, specially when you turn out in your business suites just to look professional during office hours.  Welcome to the world of BPO’s.  A perfect place to which I am trying hard since past few years failingly, to utter just one word…GOODBYE…and still find myself in it.  He he he…A perfect place where in you can have fun, enjoyment, parties, dance, booze, fag, dope, body piercing, wearing asset revealing casuals, have one night stands and do all sort of COOL activities.  A perfect place where in people use internet only for social networking, downloading music and watching porn.  A perfect place wherein you would find people who are technologically backward to such an extent, that they don’t even know the meaning of blogs, tweets, podcasts and feeds.  A perfect place, where in people don’t know the meaning of research and analysis, thereby considering reconciliation as a high end job. 

You might be thinking – what is stopping me from quitting my existing BPO job?

And the answer may appear as basic as it can be – Service Agreement of two years.  But then, there is more to it, as service agreements are easily bought by other companies for deserving candidates.  When I did not receive a call from McKinsey, it was me who boarded the plane thereby making a commitment to serve my existing organization for two years.  And if I break my commitment, how will I make few more in my life and still stick to it till its fulfillment.  It would just be unprofessional to leave the organization unless something untoward happens.  Also, after becoming an Assistant Manager, I find myself out of every rat race that others might run.  I don’t see my existing job as a career.  I already got what I wanted from my current job.  And I don’t really intend to grow just in terms of designation by spending another two to three years fighting for every rating, bonus, span, visibility or responsibility.  All I want to do is to work flawlessly for longer hours, without taking leaves and without getting bothered about my next growth, to discover the acme of professionalism within me, which would later on help me when I would actually be managing my own company.  If my current organization can give me an opportunity to expand myself as a true entrepreneur, then I can easily stay with it for next 1-2 years, thereby concentrating on international certification and investment related education.  Otherwise I always have an open option of mending my mistake of joining a BPO.  Needless to mention, I don’t exactly work for my organization.  I work for myself and professionalism.  And it is well evident by my choice of not taking leaves since past three years thereby working extended hours just to inculcate a habit of entrepreneurial way of execution.  My rules, philosophy and psychology set for myself are anyways above any organizational policies, both in terms of ethics and quality.  And it’s really hard to stick by what I have set for myself.  Still I don’t deter, because I am not an employee, but a future entrepreneur. 

And I am sure, my cell phone would definitely ring in future when I would be expecting it to ring, which would force me to write another blog depicting my success story, unlike this one which is actually a story of my failure.  

Dull...No-more

My existing laptop has many stories to tell; only if you have those ears to listen…but how many stories could be created in its lifetime.  There is a saturation point for everything.  Meaning, my laptop does not have any new stories to cook up and I already got bored of listening to its existing ones ever since I bought it, (close to) past two years ago.  Specially, that scary failure of its DVD writer...and those infectious virus attack which are eating up all my files & folders despite of having valid antivirus protection.  So these days I am planning to replace my laptop with a new one.  Well, you should know I am not at all sentimental with my belongings, so I don’t really have any qualms in their replacements for a better deal…he he he

So my last weekend was spent in exploring the market for a better deal.  Now market research is something which most of the time fights with my impulsive purchasing habit…and strangely looses the fight…he he he.  Anyways, while entering an electronic shop, I strangely asked the attendant, “This one is supposed to be an electronic shop right?  I am looking for laptops.”  I asked that question because I saw few paintings on the wall of the shop which appeared to be some creative wall hangings.  The attendant smiled and pointed his fingers towards those wall hangings.  To my surprise, those wall hangings were branded with a Dell logo.  And when I checked it closely, those appeared to be the most creative blend of art, painting, fashion and technology.   And I was like…SURPRIZED…

You all know I have this strange habit of going deep into the reasoning of anything which surprises me a lot.  So I started my research with Dell Laboratories and their marketing strategy.  After going through several websites, magazines and newspapers, I learnt that the man behind this effort is Ed Boyd, one of Dell’s most unusual hires in recent years.  He is an industrial designer who worked earlier with Nike for designing their shoes and sunglasses.  The 43 year young Boyd is trying to make design an integral part of Dell, the personal computer maker long known for cranking out boring gray boxes which were perfect enemies of eye catching creativity. 

Dell is charging an extra premium of $75.00 from it’s customers for attractive designs which would even become customized in future.  This is on top of the basic $699.00 price tag for the company’s budget line portables.  Presently the designs are from Nigerian painter Joseph Amedokpo, South African graphic artist Siobhan Gunning and Canadian designer Bruce Mau.  I wonder, whether Indian artists have gone hibernating these days…he he he…The options for customizing the overall appearance of your future Dell laptops will go far beyond mixing scores of colors, patterns and textures with personalized photographs too.  In the world of computers, Boyd is using his successful Nike approach of letting people design their own sneakers.  He he he…

With the global economy heading towards slowdown and recession thereby forcing consumers to cut down their expenses, it will be a difficult situation to charge any sort of premium for cool designs.  Especially for companies like Dell that don’t have an established reputation for design.  But Boyd is hell bent on taking risks even during the turbulent times of market failure.  May be, that’s why I have started keeping one of my eyes on him to check how insanely creative he can be to generate those additional cash flows from the market, thereby reviving stodgy image of it’s company’s product.   Last year he hired an obscure graffiti artist named Mike Ming to create images for Dell products, a move that worried some of Dell’s straight laced staff.  He also signed off on an undersized keyboard for Dell’s first mini notebook PC, a decision companies founders clearly disagreed with.  However, the sales figures for these limited edition Dell products designed by Ming exceeded the consumer expectations and hence forced Michael Dell to give a green signal to Boyd for continuing his innovation stories. 

Boyd’s design staff has now grown to 120 people scattered from Austin to Miami to Singapore.  There are dozens of PhD’s in his group accompanying Engineering, Computer Science and cognitive psychology experts.  They all follow only one mantra – “Design isn’t just cosmetic.”  He he he…Goodjob Mr. Boyd. 

Although, these cool looking laptops might be a hit in the market and can be very visible in the MBA campuses and cafes, I would still go with those executive looks which actually gel with my personality.  I really don’t know if it would be the studio edition of Dell or some other brand, but I am really convinced by the innovative strategies Dell and Mr. Boyd has chalked out for the company’s image makeover.  Surely, it is Dull no more…he he he…try pronouncing Dull with an E effect in between...he he he…it is Dell from now on…

Goodbye Dear Preachings & Teachings

“The best way to multiply knowledge is – Divide it.” 

Now that is something which I used to believe ever since childhood.  Not anymore…he he he…

The sentence looks good only in terms of optimism.  It emits positive radiance when read with an innocent mind.   It obviously qualifies to fit into those forwarded emails that we randomly send to all in our email lists.  It also has the power to be highlighted on the flashboards under the heading “Quotation Of The Day”, where in people would read it, feel good about it and then forget it after few hours.  He he he…

Ever since I mended myself, I developed conscious awareness about what I wanted from my life.  Words like Business, Valuations, Investment Analysis, WallStreet, Mergers & Acquisitions, Equity Research, Financial Modeling, Entrepreneurship, Business Plans, Project management, Six Sigma and so on an so froth are not just words for me anymore.  They became way of my life. 

I always remain eager to acquire knowledge about topics that interests me, for the simple reason – I want to be on the top of them.  I don’t want to be speechless or ignorant when someone asks me things pertaining to them.  By the word “someone” I do not mean that any Tom, Dick or Harry elevate himself and asks me petty questions which I don’t even feel like answering.  It actually means someone intellectual enough, whose question reflects his/her substance.  On the top of it, while looking into the mirror, I don’t wish to feel ashamed of having incomplete / inappropriate knowledge about these topics.  Believe me; feeling ashamed of facing my self in a mirror would be the worst mortification that I may ever set for myself. 

Now let’s come directly to the hard fact of life…Can any Tom, Dick or Harry develop his knowledge to raise his intellectual capital?  Well, personality development gurus & most of the self help books would give you an affirmative answer to this question, except me.  He he he…You really need to be a fighter if you want to prove your mettle in acquiring knowledge and being dexterous in a particular field.  And if you are a fighter, believe me; you do not fall in the genre of being any Tom, Dick or Harry.  By being a fighter, you have already created your own class, which separates you from rest of the mass. 

Willingness – is something which comes very naturally to most of us.  However, there are people who remain ignorant to many facts and hence lack willingness.  How can a person develop his knowledge pertaining to LBO Modeling if he does not even know the concept of Leverage Buy Out.  Lack of technical and fundamental know how, becomes the prime factor in their lack of willingness too.  And for those whom it comes very easily, it does not qualify as willingness, unless you actually work towards its fulfillment. 

Time & Energy – are the actual price which people often pay in getting those immaterial things into their life that they almost tend to ignore their opportunity cost.  People remain busy in unnecessary clubbing every Friday night.  Daaru / Disc party is something which they can not resist.  Bitching, fighting, making pseudo relationships and doing all sorts of foolish activities in getting the attention of those hanging whores and bastards are just examples of wasting time & energy efficiently.  He he he… And then, people say…Yaar Time Nahi Milta aajkal…aur mil bhi jaaye to energy nahi bachti…he he he

Focus – what’s that?  He he he…Most of us feel jittery when we encounter this word as we often feel that focus has something to do with high form of meditative concentration.  He he he…Isn’t that so?  Well, one just needs to be consciously aware of his moves every time, thereby making it better in every future step taken in the direction of achievement.  Nahi samjhaa naa?…he he he…I knew it…let me make you understand your way…remember how badly you tried on that guy / girl whom you liked very much and did everything to get him / her in your life?  If you have reasons for not having that guy / girl in your life today, you were not focused enough…otherwise you pretend to show that you don’t know that F word…he he he…Most of us understands this word only when used for such reasons.  Now what do we call it?  Irony, isn’t it?  He he he

Money – now how the hell is it related to knowledge development?  Even though people earn hefty salaries, they don’t feel shy in asking for borrowing those sources of knowledge which they can easily get from the market by spending just few hundreds of rupees.  According to them…Why to waste money in purchasing magazines, books and training materials?  People like Rishi hai naa…wohi karenge ye sab…all they have to do is to be in the company of Rishi type people.  So what do they do with their money?  Movies, Dating, Daaru Party, Ladkiya, Dresses, Levis, Reebok, Make Up materials…Uff...And they have to maintain their living expenses too…right?   Sorry, I forgot to mention about those savings which parents would like to see in their banks too…isn’t it? 

Few months ago, I started imparting some training sessions among various groups.  The idea was to multiply knowledge by dividing it.  At first, people were interested in acquiring knowledge about various concepts.  But then, within few weeks, I realized that I am just wasting my time in giving them knowledge for free.  I was not charging anything in lieu of knowledge transfer…how the hell would there be focus, energy, time and willingness.  He he he…People started taking the training sessions for granted.  None of the trainees used to come prepared by revising concepts taught a day earlier.  He he he…They had all sorts of reasons and excuses but no results.   Few even crossed the line of respect and integrity.  He he he…However, they all wanted to be the supreme knowledge bearers without actually working for it.  So they still expect foolishly that I would be continuing those sessions.  He he he…

Do you really think that I would divide my hard earned knowledge to those who want to grab it for free?  Well, I learnt my lesson.  The lesson is – The only way to learn & acquire knowledge is the Hard Way…Only then people would respect it.  Let the hardships of life teach them their own lessons…only then, true learning would happen…

Just imagine…is it that very easy to create willingness, invest time & energy, remain focused and spend huge amount of your hard earned money for acquiring that very thing called…knowledge?  If your answer is yes, think again…

Every month, I read more than 20 business magazines, both national and international just to track the pulse of the market.  The entire cost of my books, magazines and audio / visual business CD’s cost me around four thousand rupees per month.  I consider that as fixed expenses.  I don’t think that amount is peanuts for a guy who considers himself highly underpaid.  Despite of spending close to 14 hours per day in the office, I still manage time to blog, surf information on internet, read business magazines, watch diverse movies, go through financial/business websites four times a day, read business books by well renowned international authors and then study quantitative concepts like Investment Sciences.  Do you all really feel that I have been blessed with few more hours in my watch?  Do you all really feel that my body automatically prepares Glucon D & Bournvita every now and then?  Do you all really think that I don’t have urge to execute friendship and be with my family members?  He he he…Think again…

It’s not easy.  It’s really not so very easy to build knowledge about a particular subject.  One has to go through several hardships prior to building it.  How easily people think that I will share it with them, even though they fail in executing respect in lieu of it? 

I am still ready to multiply knowledge by dividing it…but only to the super-deserving candidates.  Now who decides whether you are super-deserving or non-deserving?…no…it’s not me…but your ability to create willingness, your motivation to invest time & energy, your level of focus and finally your capacity to spend your own hard earned money in grabbing that piece of knowledge.  Now I won’t walk along with people and will only show way.  Because I still have many things to learn and I can not waste my time teaching / preaching people as it has a huge opportunity cost associated with it…atleast for me, isn’t it?